Song of the day-Something that makes you feel bad, isolated from others and gives you a want to light a living room on fire

The holidays make me feel this way.

At least thanksgiving.

I have three different thanksgiving a year.  One with my family, one with my aunts and another in St. Helens with my foster grandma.

The one with my family is nice, the other two are like GAHH! CANDLES EVERYWHERE, THE KIDS SUCK, NO ROOM FOR AIR, I WILL BURN THE HOUSE DOWN!!!

Its insane.  Fifteen kiddies.  Im the oldest acting one.  Even though Im second oldest.  But you cant blame the foreign chicks.

Argh, just when we were about to have some fun (gambling) my parents whisked us away to go back home.

I was like no, I was trapped in a room with 12 other kids when Im freaking claustrophobic, I was fed too much, I hand to hang out with drunk adults and the women people were yelling at me.  Now your taking me away??

Yesterday-
I woke up late, went to my aunt's to eat noodles.  Then got confused about going where with who to my foster grandma's house because my 2nd cousin wanted to ride with my uncle who lives with me and my parents went home to do something so I had to ride with my aunt and my cousins.  Ok, my uncle is my uncle, that baby cousin is MY baby cousin.  She loves me more.  She's able to tell who I am in the dark if I call her name.  You cant replace that kind of love man.  Went to my foster grandma's house and had some turkey and ham and mash potatoes, the whole works.  Got stuck in one of the rooms because all the adults were watching football even though some of them hate it.  And I wanted to watch Old School but they wouldnt let me.  Ive seen that movie five times.  Who cares if its unrated? Ive probably seen the unrated version without me knowing it.  YOURE MY BOY BLUE!!  Lol.  The room smelled nice though.  I was stuck there are three hours.  Then afterwards we drove back to my aunts (my parents drove) and ate rice with umm meat.  We also watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off.  Awesome movie.  "I bet you twenty dollars he's in his car right now debating with himself to come over or not."  And I love that chick's jacket.  Who cares if it has fringes, it was awesome.  Went home ok feeling sorta.

Today-Went to the cambodian store with my mom doing nothing.  Then went over to my cousins' where everyone from yesterday was there.  Chaotic because the house is smaller.  And ffffffffffffffffff I just dropped my cd player behind the computer desk.  I got it though.........and the people who I didnt like that much was there too.  So, because the house was smaller and the adults got control over the tvs I was stuck in their little 3.5x5" office with 15 other kids.  And some smartass closed the door so  there was no air.  And I had to sit on the floor griping onto the window gasping for air.  Finally I decided that hanging around semidrunk guys was MUCH better than that.  They were watching a James Bond movie with the russian mafia.  I was like to my dad "THERES A RUSSIAN MAFIA??" and he said yes and started listening other ones and there's a chinese mafia so naturally I yelled ARE WE PART OF IT?!!?!  Lol, the adults got so pissed.  My dad told me to go hang out with the women in the kitchen.  I went over and that one lady was giving out fivers to all the kids so I got some money and they started gambling but my parents found out and rushed us home.

Over these two days, Ive had three thanksgiving meals, got A-pocket jeans that costs 165 DOLLARS, WHO BUYS THAT??! and five dollars and a cold.  My throat hurts like hell.  And the taste in my mouth is gross.  Its like Im coughing up blood because its slightly coppery tasting.  Or it could be the viruses Im coughing up.  Wonderful.

Even though the jeens are two sizes too big, they are awfully comfy.

My 2nd cousins from Washington suck.  One is too ghetto for her 8-year-old body, the other lives in constant fear and fake cries every ten minutes and Jenany or whatever (Jenny) is also ghetto.  And tries hard to impress me.  Naah, just shut up already.  Amanda, Alli, Tiffany, Mark Jr and Matthew dont like you.  The foreign chicks like you only because your their age, act like them and know how to speak broken cambodian.  Theyd like me if I knew a hundred words too.  But, whatever.

Chingy, lil jon, and all them dont deserve to be burned to a blank cd.
Rock will beat your asses with their guitars.

Even though its fun to hop around to their songs, they suck.  In 10 years everyone will be like "who are they?  who cares if they got murdered."

Course I would care if Eminem, Usher, Fiddy, Ludacris, Snoop Dogg (the earliest rapper Ive ever heard, also have his old cassettes) got shot.  But, most likely only them.

Yeah, so Im going to stop writing and neglecting my people.

Your lord and master,
Lisa

Emotional breakdown?  Well its time of the month

Today's Song-Get Happy by Bowling For Soup

"What is this cracker?"
-Chicken
"What flavor"
-Chicken
"I know, but WHAT FLAVOR!?"
-CHICKEN!!

Jesus, my grandma is so weird and on too much medications

Im a loser, I try to know the most about a friend.
I like gloat how much I knows sometimes
I get pissed when another person says they know someone more than me

But, like whatever.  Its me and me is me.  But, sorry if you have like another special off the sidewalk relationship with that person.

Just that, all my friends are close to me.

I WANT TYLER'S SKULL RING!!  Arrr, he has this steel ring and it has four skulls on it and its so awesome but so huge.  It barely fits on my thumb and it fits more than perfect for his middle finger.

Before School-I yapped about her mom buying her fabric pens when Ive been looking for them for all summer.  We walked all over and followed short 6th graders.  And we ended up in C Hall and we went into Mr. Lytle's room with Chael, James and Val and I took three mints and we like did stuff.  AND MR. LYTLE HAS SHAVED HIS LEGS BEFORE!!
L. Arts-We did some prewriting stuff.  My essay is to a school official about the lack of something.  And for the last 15 minutes of class WE PLAYED MY BOWLING FOR SOUP CD!!!  I dont think ms. mullins liked it though, lol.  Oh well.  AND I DROPPED MY CD PLAYER AND IT BROKE OFF, sorta.
Algebra-I was pissed about the cd player and then Mr. Doyle gave us the test and I got even more pissed.  I didnt finish three of the problems but fuck it.  If I get everything right then Ill get a 90%
Lunch-I noticed Bryan got a new jacket, real hot.  Lol.  Yeah, something happened that I cant remember.  OH! the summa kids are like naaaah.  This one super annoying asian shorty was saying MICHAEL MICHAEL MICHAEL MICHAEL MICHAEL nonstop so I turn around and went MICHAEL! COME ON!  ANSWER HER ALREADY!!  JEEEEZ!!!  Then I started laughing and James, Nataly and Megan were like laughing their heads off and the summa kids looked at me funny and Michael got all like OK! FINE ALREADY!  Lol, it was great.
SSR-Boki, Michael and Jon were trying to see what different names I would respond to until I ignored them and Mac kept on touching my legs.  First he pushed his knee to mine and then I kicked him in the calf and he nudged me and I nudged back and we started kicking each other until we stoped.  And then we did it all over again for the whole period.  He has really hard calves though.
CIM (Anatomy)-I felt like sitting on the floor and I sat on the floor and talked to Tyler and Tim sat in my chair.  And I asked Tyler to fix my cd player and he couldnt fix it THANKS A LOT MR. I CAN FIX ANYTHING.  So then Tim took it AND FIXED IT!  Tyler and I were like fucking amazed.  I said "Tim a luv you a lot, your my new best friend" lol, I was so happy I didnt fully break my cd player.  And Tyler showed me his skull ring and I took it and wore it until the end of the day.
Gym-I talked to Heather about guy's legs and we watched people.  We half hung around the sit and reached thing and half shot hoops.  Or well, I shot baskets.  I shot so many until I went to go drink water.
Science-Sat on the counter and watched the rest of the Mt. St. Helens movie.
Social Studies-I got so cold in this class.  I have circulation, but it was blooming cold.  It still is actually.  We had Junior Achievement.  We did this buyer/seller thing and I was a seller and Carlos was the buyer and I made a profit of 25 dollars he was like WHAT??  When did that happen!?  Lol.  Jack was jealous!  And he needs to keep his insecure thoughts to himself.

That stairway in the tech lab..where does that lead too?  This celebration Val and I WILL find out.

Gloves, flashlight, rope, the works.

Everyone, "pray" for Calvin to get out of his Engish Language Advanced class so he has a chance to get smarter and not be tied down with idiotic five letter words.  I mean, HE HAS SPOKEN ENGLISH FOREVER!  He knows less cambodian than me!  He just sucks at l. arts, its not because he's foreign.  Wait, HE'S NOT EVEN FOREIGN!!!!!

Babe, its a funny word.  All grown people say it.  Why couldnt they like hunny?  Babe is like gahh.  Course maybe its not like that if its said by someone who melts your chocolate heart.

Your heart is so screwed.  Sometimes it just a real heart, other times its a chocolate one and other times its a paper one.

Choco-latte!

I need to burn coldplay to a cd.
I need to burn them all so I can download some more.

Your lord and master,
Lisa

Today's Song-Trucker Hat

Why?  Because Im listening to it.  What do you mean by that?

I HAVE A HANGOVER YOU DONT DESERVE RIGHT ON MY COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!

Aww man Im like jumping for joy.  Ha ha, I love this.  I truly love this.

Just that, I need a whole nother computer for what I want.

Maybe like three more.

IM SO FUCKING HAPPY!

Get happy, yeaah.  Lol.  Im truly digging this.

Im like in music download HEAVEN.

Last night-Tyler texted me from his cell that he was going out with K and I was like jumping for joy.  Lol, I forgot he was using his cell so I started typing a lot of messages.  And he was like U WANT ME TO CALL U? And I was like ok...sure.  And he did and I started like yapping about him and K and stuff, lol!  And somehow we got to the subject of The Ring, sorta...He breathed SEVEN DAYS and I was like what?? and finally he told me in regular talk and I was said "Did you do that to Boki yet??" and he said "lol! no, but I should call him right now!!" so he did and then he called me again and he made me talk to Boki who was on a whole nother phone it was so great.  Tyler is such an idiot though.  Lol, he was talking on two phones at once and he flipped one and I was trying to talk to Boki but I like screamed and I couldnt hear him and Boki whispered Get Tyler and I yelled TYLER! TYLER!!! Lol, it was so funny!

Before School-I like jumped on Tyler, lol.  Doesnt mean anything though K!  I gave Val the story
L. Arts-Half listened to people talk about their books.  Then gave James the story
Algebra-I brought Pretty In Pink with me and since I sit in the front I put it right in front of me so it looked at Mr. Doyle the whole period and finally he picked it up and started reading about it was great.  We also had a test that was like identical to the pretest
Lunch-I honestly cant remember, too happy listening to BOWLING FOR SOUP
SSR-Mac kept on laughing at me and I dunno why but then he was laughing so much I started giggling and yeah it was like that the whole time.
CIM (Reading For Pleasure)-Tyler, Tish and I were talking about cell phones, squirrels, and other stuff I cant remember...Oh wait!  That delivery man who doesnt look up, lol
Gym-I was partners with Mac and we had to do curl up and shuttle run.  Then afterwards Tyler, Boki, Jon, Aaron and Michael were using the springboard to run into the wall it was so great and I was laughing so hard.  Lol, it was all so great.  And some of the girls were sitting on the huge mat and it was tons of fun
Science-Watched a thing about Mt. St. Helens
Social Studies-Mr. Doyle wouldnt budge and we didnt watch Pretty In Pink.  You know, sometime we're going to watch it.  We just HAVE to.  Instead we barely read this Thomas Jefferson thing and started talking about aliens.  Really interesting.

Especially the part where Mr. Doyle was sober while away from home and hanging out with his buddy Jason.  Lol...!  And that remark about Carlos's two things.   LOL!

I need to burn these songs onto a blank cd.

My brother left to Eugene like twenty minutes ago.  Hopefully he remembers to bring the Beatles greatest hits.

Leslie-Yeah, I really dont.  I dont understand why so many people love that place.  And its hard for me to live here with this minor pollution.  And, my mom is not touchy feely.  She's more like tough it out.  Or what you said about the turning little things into big things.  And, she brings up California because she wants to go back there and I DO NOT WANT TO GO.  Id rather stay here and end up going to U of O than go there and go to Stanford.  So, its not so easy.  Your mom drives you crazy?  Mine already made me insane!

I like too happy to write any emo shit so Im going

Out, out and gone.

Your lord and master,
Lisa

Todays Song-Im A Terrible Person by Rooney

Have I mentiond Im madly in love with Cary Brothers? Im madly in love with his music?

EDIT-DAMNIT ALL MY SHIT WENT AWAY.

L. Arts-We shared stories and I should have shared mine.  I didnt want to though.  Val's story was very nice.  Shes right.  We are afraid to speak.  You dont know how many times Ive deleted stuff from here because I was scared about what my friends would think about it.  I was in the perfect mood to rant about things on this
Algebra-I got pissed at the graph paper Mr. Doyle gave to us and at everyone else for choosing to do the carnival problem for no reason.
Lunch-I skipped it and stayed in Mr. Doyles room with Val and Leslie.  I put on Cary Brothers and put the daily song on this.  Then we had to go to the library.
SSR-Mac looked at my Student ID Card and started to pretend to laugh at it and I stole his and then laughed back and he got all self conscious.  It was funny.  He wouldnt let Heather or Tish see it until I went "Mac are you turning all self conscious" and he went yes and I think Heather smiled and he finally handed over his card.  It was sorta cute how he got all worried.
CIM (Anatomy)-Tyler did the same thing sorta.  I snatched his card to check out his picture because he keeps on refusing to give me one and he took mine and put it in his pants and I said something like "Tyler, I WILL go in there if you dont give it back" and he took it out and I snatched that too but he took my binder and threated to give it to Tim so I tossed everything to him as fast as I could.  He gave it back, lol.  I draw better humming birds than him I know I do.  Sawyer has no opinion and Tim sucks.  He pissed me off again which is no surprise. 
Gym-Tyler, Karen and I did the bikes and boot camped.  Boot camp is not boot camp.  Its more like willow dancing and doing fake jumping jacks.  Lol, me and him were willow dancing it was great.
Science-Good class.  Its getting better.  We colored most of the time. 
Social Studies-We finished the play and I finally did my part and my part was talking to Thomas Jefferson who's voiced by James, so it was highly interesting.  And it was hilarious at the end when he said "I shall walk you to the door then" everyone went AWWWW!!!  Lol.

After school I ate a tuna sandwich and then went to pick up Calvin.  It was fun.  I love celebrations.  And I got the story topics.  But the ride after sucked like hell.  My mother tried talking about California again.  I got UNBELIEVABLY PISSED.  I HATE CALIFORNIA, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE IT.  I know my cousins live there and I love them but I hate California.  I like vacationing there for three days but other than that I HATE CALIFORNIA.  Please take no offense Leslie, Im an Oregonian who will easily turn New Yorker.  Or Ohio-ian.  I told her that theres a huge possibilty that I will get depressed and she shut up.  Good.  Because I get depressed thinking about it.  I dont care about spending spending spending money.  What am I?  A bratty seven-year-old??  IM TURNING 14 FOR GOD'S SAKE.  My parents dont have a fucking clue

Do you want to know what I think about the funny dyke business?  I THINK ITS ABSOLUTE BULL!  Ive known shes been a lesbian ever since 7th grade.  I should have told the counselor about her but no I didnt because I didnt think anything would happen.  Goddamn art.  Shes no bisexual, shes a full blown lesbian.  She shouldnt be suicidal either.  I mean she knew what would happen.  Arrgh, whatever.

Do you want to know something thats wrong with me?
I cant talk to my best friend anymore.  Before I could have said anything I wanted to say and not worry about what he thinks about me.  But now, my vocabulary has been reduced to YES, NEVERMIND, THATS GREAT, HA HA and UH HUH.  Everytime I say those words I want to bash my head into the lockers repeatedly and then jump off the bleachers in the west gym onto the rubber floor.  I dont know why but now I think before speaking.  Why do I do this?  I dont know.  Well I do know but its stupid and not worthly.  Name one! Im afraid of doing something that I will regret and have it eat my ass.  If I do something then it might change something and changing can lead to losing a person and I dont want to lose him.

WHERE THE HELL IS CALVIN!?!

I am going to cry.  Or maybe not since my thoughts are too deep for tears.

I over over over over OVERanalyze things.  I think too much.  I have this quiet little voice that tells me what I should do but I dont listen to it.  Theres this other voice that gets my attention though.  It makes me think of different ways and what could happen.  The little voice is always right.  The little voice constantly gets rejected and then doesnt talk again.   Its like the math voice.  I know the answer but the other voice tells me to do the problem on the calculator.  I want to kill this voice.  I want to listen to the other.

In CIM Tyler told me not to do something and I promised him I wouldnt do it.  Well, he doesnt know I promised him because if he questions this and I tell him he'd be like "When'd I say this?...oh yeah..........." lol.  I already promised myself I wouldnt do it anyway before.  5. 

Do you want to know whats the best and worse thing to say to a person?
-"Ive loved you since forever and I might not love another for a long time" or imply it

No one ever say that to me.

It will suck me up and then I will fight my way out and start slowly killing your soul.

If I think so much I think I do care.  I care a lot.  There are things I dont give a shit about and there are things I care so much about it hurts me.  Why cant I be balanced?

I need to do homework

Your lord and master,
Lisa

    & nbsp;  Say you and a starving child was in a room together and there was a piece of chicken on a table.  You are to choose if you want to eat the chicken or let the child have it.  If you ate this piece of chicken, you would go to heaven.  If you gave it to the child you would go to hell but there would be world peace.  Which would you choose; you or the greater good of man kind?

    & nbsp;  Would you choose you?  Is your life more important than something that will be screwed up later on anyway?  Do you not trust these choices?  How do you know if world peace will last forever?  Are you so religious that you have to go to heaven?

    & nbsp;  Would you let the starving child have the chicken?  Do you care about the greater good of man kind more than your soul?  Would you not care about going to hell because you've just saved the world?  Would you not care because you let a starving child eat?  Do you trust those choices enough to know that the world peace will last forever?

    & nbsp;  Say you did choose to eat the chicken for yourself.  You let another child out of millions starve.  You left the world the same just so you can go to heaven.  You've worked hard for your sinless life.  You never stole, you never killed anyone.  It would practically kill you to know you have to go to hell for others.  Jesus died to clean the sins out of everyone and still went to heaven.  Why couldn't you go to heaven?  You've just saved the world.  But, even though Jesus cleaned away our sins, it's all back.  People are being racist towards others.  People are killing thy neighbors.  People rape the innocent for sex and the pleasure of doing something bad.  You aren't sure about the world peace lasting forever.  Forever seems like a long time.  The earth has five billion more years to go before losing life.  Unless the earth is like it was hundred years ago where the air was perfectly clean and some animals weren't extinct, it would be hard for the world to be peaceful.  You weren't sure about the choices and you only knew you had to go to heaven.

    & nbsp;  But, say you let the child have the piece of chicken.  World peace is much more important than one life.  More people are alive than have ever died.  More than seven billion human beings are alive.  Shouldn't that be enough reason to let the child eat the chicken?  What's happening in the world is why we need world peace.  The U.S. is in control of Iraq, South America is full of AIDs, Peru has a cocaine problem, and Cambodia is in need for food and other things.  Starving children are in need of food.  You are such a peace loving hippie that you let others eat your food.  Giving a starving child food is a good enough reason for going to hell.  You want the world to have world peace even if it doesn't last forever because nothing can last forever.  The world doesn't have to be perfect, it just needs peace.  It doesn't need anymore killing or deprivation of medicine or food.  Even the society in Brave New World isn't perfect; but, it's full of peace.  Even though every human's fate is decided before birth, you wished you lived during that time period because it's so unlike the world today.

    & nbsp;  It's hard to choose what you want to do.  It's either you go to heaven or go to hell for others.  To make the right decision would take days.  You can't just choose the right road in a minute.  Each road has a downside and an upside.  Each road will change your life drastically.  There's no way a question like this will ever be answered.  No one will question you since it's so big.  But, hypothetically, if you were asked this and it would matter, what would you choose?

Thats my l. arts paper.

Your lord and master,
Lisa

Today's Song-Wonderwall by Oasis

What is it about you?  Does everyone have to like you?  Maybe you should get a grip, because NO ONE DOES.  Except your friends.  So if someone doesnt like you you try to stop being friends with my friends?  Like thats possible but theres a thread.  A thread who still wants to be your friend.  You should suck it up.

Before school-James showed me something and it was HIGHLY interesting
L. Arts-I sat by Natalie most of the time and it was a good class.
Algebra-I got pissed
Lunch-I gave Alex the paper about me and I wasnt hungry
CIM (Reading for Pleasure)-A fun fun class.  Tyler edited my paper and then afterwards we made paper money.  We made coins, a George Bush one hundred dollar bill, a 10 dollar bill in GREEK! a one million John Kerry dollar bill, and hippie money.  We were going to put it in Ms. Pittock's jar but she kept on staring at us so we couldnt do it.  So instead we put it all in Ms. Mullins jar, lol.  Except the hippie money, Tyler kept it.  Lots of fun.
Science-I cant speak, well I can but everytime I have to explain stuff I get horribly nervous
Social Studies-We thankfully had Junior Achievement today.  I dont like s.s. anymore even though its the easiest class around.  I dont have a real seat and its so easy the class is like "why am I here when I can be in the library doing this myself?"

My public signs of affection sucks.  It shouldnt, I mean, I hugged a summa kid I barely knew.

OH!  Alex (christened Bryan by me) is officially now MY FRIEND!!  I asked him twice AND HES MY FRIEND!  So happy.

My head is so hot, I need sleep and someone to do all my homework.

Im part of a writing thing which is great because I wanted to do one about our age since I read 13.  Good book.  I will have fun with this

Your lord and master,
Lisa

BECAUSE NOW I HAVE A CD PLAYER!  I need some cool thingys that go on your head... Um, right, cant remember word.  I want ones that around the back of your head, those are cool

Today-
Did math practice test, sucked horribly, played on the computer, did tons of laundry at that laundry place, I hate folding clothes.  They should make a machine that folds clothes.  And my new shirts looked freaking small compared to my other ones.  And my aunt should be coming over to eat and give me some spaghetti straps so I wear my v necks.  Umm, went to safeway bought milk and a birthday card.  I would have bought two but I didnt have enough money.  What kind of company is Hallmark?  They dont have any cards that has nazis or jewish people in it.  Lol.  Went back home and here I am.

Who doesnt let their child buy their own birthday present for themselves?  Honestly, I should have been able to buy my cd.  I came so close too.  Maybe if my uncle isnt going anywhere tomorrow I can make my dad drive me to target.

I just realized something, the only reason why I cant burn more than two cds at a time is because we only have one cd burner.  Im an idiot.  An idiot that needs to read.  Ive only finished three books this four months.  In the summer I read over 50 novels, have I lost my touch?  Or the ability to care?

I think of caring as a weakness.  You care too much and too many people are telling you about their life.  In total detail.  Im fine with knowing whats going on with my friends.  Sometimes I want to know more but I dont want ot know too much about everyone.  If I care then Ill lose power, my will, my control of my emotions, everything that I have now because I dont care will be gone.  I dont want to care.  I mean, who seriously cares about joining the army?  Or if someone is madly in love with you.
In 6th grade, Ms. Strama told us about this cartoonist who joked about the US caring more about seven dead people who blew up in space than 2000 people dying from September 11.  Everyone in my class said that was mean but I agreed with the cartoonist.  I mean September 11 was shown everywhere on tv but did we know about it?  No, they just kept on replaying what happened when the buildings fell.  And then when that rocket ship expoded killing seven astronauts what happened?  We learned all about the peoples lives and where they lived and bunch of tht shit.  I knew so much about that thing.  And the only thing I knew about September 11 was that some middle easterners hi-jacked three planes.  What does that tell you?  That our nation cares about stuff George Bush supported and gave money to?  That George Bush's mistake of not paying attention to any threats is no big deal?

Im rambling again. 

The celebration is on Dec. 2.  Two days after my birthday, on the day of my cousins birthday,  the day before Vals birthday.  Hopefully my aunt celebrates his birthday on the weekend.  And hopefully those dumbass leadership girls chose the 80's for our theme.  But then now is also good.  Unless they do hip hop and that stuff.  They should do rock sometime.  Rock will never die, but pop and hip hop will.  Rock lives on forever, pop and hip hop gets overplayed and shut out.

The cds I want-
BOWLING FOR SOUP
Taking Back Sunday
Cary Brothers
Snow Patrol
All-American Rejects
My Chemical Romance
Yellowcard
Green Day

CDs I want but cant buy.  *sigh* What I want the most is A Hanger You Dont Deserve by Bowling For Soup.  Ive been going insane for it since march.  Ill get it though, I swear I will.

Your lord and master,
Lisa

Todays song-Im Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance

You said you read me like a book, but the pages are all torn and frayed

I was born 13 years and 348 days ago.  So my birthday's coming up this year.  I was born in Oregon around 6 in the morning.  I guess I wanted to wake up with the sun.  Well, I lived in an apartment the first year of my life and then on my first birthday we moved to my house.  We also got a chinese crested dog.  We named him Simpson.  I dont believe thats a chinese word so he's most likely named after The Simpsons since my name is Lisa.  My middle name is after a chinese kungfu chick.  Calvin, my younger brother was born when I was two in March.  He was named after Calvin in Calvin and Hobbes.  My dad even bought him a stuffed animal tiger.  He never caught on so his favorite stuffy is actually a dog in overalls.  Lol.  I was more like Calvin than him.  I talked to my blankie and ran around a lot.  I have a older brother who's 9 years older than me and then my older sister whos 8 years older than me.  Both of them dont live here anymore.  Sorta.

I had this best neighbor named Alex who lived a couple houses away.  He was cool.  And my next door neighbors.  The girl and the guy was cool too.  Especially the guy.  I hung out outside a lot before I figured out that my other neighbors hated me.  This was after my next door neighbors moved and Alex and I were in first grade.  I went over to Alex's house to play and everyone else came and they didnt like my laughing so they all moved to the garage and left my brother and me outside on their play structure.  I didnt want to play after that.  I still dont want to play flashlight tag or whatever the hell they do at night.  I dont really like my neighbors since all the cool people moved.

My favorite neighbors who moved-That guy next door who was obsessed about The Land Before Time like me and his sister with the bunny, the high school guys next door, Lane and his brother Chris, Kip, Alex, that little boy who kept on following me and his sister and the two girls who used to live in Megans house who owned like millions of dogs.  Theyre all gone

I started school in 1996 knowing the alphabet, how to dress, my numbers and developing common sense.  We basically did nothing in kindergarten.  So, I was unprepared in 1st grade when the real stuff was coming.  Well not in math, I knew how to do that.  Just that I didnt know how to spell words so this guy named CJ and me had to do special  reading.  I learned fast, got tons of stickers and read as well as the other guys.  Sure I also had to go to this other other teacher sometimes to read but I learned.  I also got insulted when reading.  CJ and I had to read this bike story and we switched people so I was the dad and he was the daughter and I spoke in a low voice so Id match my character because he was doing that too but the lady said that I was fine and that I didnt need to do that.  I understand my voice isnt all that high but lady you are uncool.  My best friend in 1st grade was Alex Johnson, we stuck together since we recognized each other from Kindergarten.  In 2nd grade my best friend was Shelby Turner, really cool year.  My teacher Ms. Springer was the best ever.  Our class was a family.  Too bad she had to move back to Hawaii.  I was a trouble maker in 2nd grade.  But then Ms. G or whatever screwed me up and made me all quiet.  I dunno what happened but I was suddenly interested in books, not playing outside and not communicating with other people.  Screwed me up big time.  4th grade came and went.  And 5th grade came where we were leaders of everything.  Even though we were so young.  Natalie and Mattie became my new best friends and we were a trio.  It was awesome.  And my teacher Mr. Corey was really awesome.  Too bad he retired.

6th grade came at Meadow Park.  I desperately wanted to go here.  My parents wanted me to go to Stoller.  Who the hell wants to go to Stoller??  The people I hated at Bethany were going there and Stoller  didnt sound cool.  It sounded like I was going to be surrounded by preps who had a lot of money.  I did not want that.  I wanted real people.  Not phonies.  I cried for months to go to Meadow.  Then Meadow came and Im not regretting coming here.  I love Meadow and all my friends.  Like...

The guys-James, Tyler, Boki, Jared, Michael, Chris and Aaron
The girls-Natalie, Mattie, Val, Leslie, Nataly, Ellen, Katie, Yoshie, Karen, Heather and Tish

Im going to miss the people going to Sunset a lot.  Especially Nataly, Tyler and Boki.  But, I refuse to let them go.  Tyler and Boki will go to college with me at Stanford/Penn State/MIT and we will par-tay! all year looooong.  Lol.

Now its now and my birthday is in 18 days!!  Woot.  Unlike some people Im glad Im getting older.  Im a year closer to being free.  Free to party, free to do whatever I want, free to shop for my own food.

Theres most likely more but I dont feel like typing anymore.  Someday Ill update this certain post so itll match my life.  Remember the November 12th post.

Top Five Songs For Now-
1) Something/Supposed to Be by Cary Brothers
2) Ridiculous/Last Call Casualty by Bowling For Soup
3) Slow Dance on the Inside by Taking Back Sunday
4) Run by Snow Patrol
5) My Paper Heart by All-American Rejects

Number one is tied.  So is number tw.  I like melt in those songs.  Except Slow Dance on the Iside and My Paper Heart because thatd be a little twisted to get weak at those songs.

Arrgh, Fred Meyers doesnt have any good cds at all.  Or they have terrible tastes.  They had like this whole column of Chevelle cds and this other suck ass band but no Bowling For Soup which is outrageous.  What kind of store is that??  A gay ass one.  And they had four posters of orlando bloom and nothing that Michael might like.  Unless he likes dragons.  Hopefully that FCC comes before the 16th.

Ive found a new love for metal.  Its not that bad.  Its loud and ARRR! like.  Well, more like a new-er one since Ive liked Smile Empty Soul, System of a Down and Seether forever.

This weekend-
Did laundry at that place near 7-11 and Pizza Hut.  Finally got some mints.  Found out that candy canes are on sale RIGHT now.  I got overly excited.  I was this close ------- to getting a huge big box of 24 boxes of 12 candy canes each.  But then Calvin dragged me away and yelled at me NO NO DAT-DA DONT GET THE CANDY CANES!  Even though it was 88 cents a freaking box.  If all my friends gave me three boxes each Id have 39 freaking boxes.  Oh, I would totally die.
Right...other than that, I did nothing

Monday-

L. Arts-Nothing I think
Algebra-Degman thinks that I like Jack, funny idiotic Degman.  Jack is just a friend.  Who HAS A GRAPHING CALCULATOR WITH GAMES!!  I got so mad when I found that out.  I mean after a week youd think someone would tell someone that they had games on their calculator.  I only get to play.
Lunch-Cant remember
CIM (Anatomy)-Tyler and I were drawing maps to show where we lived and what he did on the weekend.  Sawyer showed us his comic pages thing, hes really...interesting.  TIM SPAT ALL OVER THE TABLE AGAIN.  I got pissed.
Gym-We had that twisted dodgeball.  There was two teams and I was one of the two girls on my team.  We had...Boki, Tyler, Zach Helm, Nick Olney and and other guys.  It was fun though.  Karen kneed me in the head which was totally ok!  I was fine!  But I was a little woozy in science though
Science-Scared Nataly and James I think.  I kept on giggling.  Lol...
S.S.-I forgot

Today-

L. Arts-We read, a lot.
Algebra-Did nothing really
Lunch-Yohan was like banging Natalies soda on the table and he pointed it at Natalie and it sprayed EVERYWHERE.  It was so awesome.  I got tons of napkins.
CIM (Anatomy)-A Hall girls are so funny.
Gym-Tish and I had a workout.  Lol.  It was cool.  But Mac and Tyler like followed us and Mac watched us do curl up.  Tyler was like lol, omg, I cant believe hes doing that, I want to do that, lol, omg.  Lol, it was great.
Science-ART LIT WITH NATALIES MOM!!  I am so slow, its not cool.
Social Studies-Sawyer placed the remote on innocent people's desks and he turned on the tv it was great.  And I played Baby Got Back on the computer it was funny.  But it was loud so I had to turn the volume down.  Sitting by Sawyer's so fun.

Someone needs to get a grip.  Honestly, you cant do that.  You cant change your opinions and then be all bad.  Its not cool.  Not cool at all.  You need some help.  If I wanted to waste some time maybe I'll tell you what to suck up or whatever.  But, it will most likely end up me screaming my ass off at you.

The only person who's ever seen me really mad other than the people who I went to school with at Bethany is Tyler and Tim.  I swore after 5th grade I would never blow up ever again but now, three years after, theres someone who truly pisses me off.  TIM.  His ass is mine.

Mac's ass is mine, Justin's ass is mine and Tim's ass is mine.  Someday they will all die.  Except Mac, because he shows hope and it would be hard to kill him.  Torturing him would be easy but I cant kill him.  Hes ALMOST a friend.  Who wanted a hug but I didnt know it at the moment he wanted one.  Oh well, whatever.

Its awfully dark for 6:25.

And I dont want the fairy tale, I dont want the girl from hell, I dont want to make the biggest mistake...
Oh, if I ever get the cd I will dissolve and turn into puddles of blood.

Aw, gross, this fly was dancing on my arm.  I slapped it off though.

We saw the world and the world seemed smaller
We're getting wider, but not getting no taller
I know we've grown up juat a little a lot of time
We're sleeping later but we're not lazy
We're getting older but we're still crazy
Im so glad tht I have these friends o'mine.

Your lord and master,
Lisa

Save me a smile, and get happy.

Its hard to pick just one. 
Today's Song-Supposed to Be by Cary Brothers

John Mayer isnt a faggot, hes really cool.  Really really wonderfully cool.

Im not a plush toy, Im not a barbie, Im a plastic toy lawn mower.

Before School-I hunted for Ms. Hay Roe for a while then tried hunting for the latin teacher with James.  We like went to Ms. Mangel's room because Summa teachers arent all that smart and Ms. Mangels laughed at us and Zach Reser wouldnt stop staring.  Then the vice president wouldnt stop talking to us so we were like almost late to class.  It was great running through the halls though.
L. Arts-Turned in homework, lied about a third of it.  We had a test, easy.  And WILLOW DANCING!  Man, I want to have dreams.
Algebra-Mr. Doyle tried doing something but I didnt pay attention and I played with Jack's graphing calculator.  I love playing with graphing calculators, they have the whole alphabet on it so I calculatorized notes to Jack.  We had to postpone our conversation, lol.   Jack, I'll find out, I swear i will.
Lunch-EYE DRINK!  EYE DRINK!  I hope you get your cancer, lol.  I have never seen a guy actually put citric acid in his eye but you did it
CIM (Reading For Pleasure)-I helped a friend do homework.   I love his handwriting.
Gym-I ran an extra credit mile by myself.  It felt good.  I was like the only girl to do that.
Science-I honestly cant remember what happened in science.  I only remember throwing erasers to Michael.
Social Studies-Umm, watched a movie about Thomas Jefferson.
After school-I got a mint, tee hee.  And I sat by that one chick who seems nice on the bus.

My baby cousin's a bulimic.  First shes on crack, then shes an alcoholic, now shes bulimic.  I swear, shes going to be like Brittany Murphy when she grows up.  AND SHES ONLY ONE!

Just when you think you know someone they bare a part of their soul that you didnt know that existed.  Makes them more mysterious.  I luv him and I want him to know that.  I luv all my friends.  He shouldnt be down, everything will be better sometime.  Just a shame I couldnt copy the conversation because of my stupid computer.

I want chocolate.  My chocolate malt balls disappeared.  I have no clue where they went.

Im a sucker for a sweet talker.  Like the chick from that one song..!  Yeah.

I could honestly waste a day sitting upside down.  Actually, I want to do that.

Your lord and master,
Lisa

I didnt do bad.  I did not do bad.  Fuck opinions.  Bite self guilt.  I did the right thing.

Today's Song-My Paper Heart by All-American Rejects

I need to do some homework.  Breaking things down is a pretty good thing to use.  So far, Im ahead of my schedule....which I need to update ,

I desperately need my Bowling For Soup CD now or I'll combust and turn into trees.  I'll just be there changing in front of you but no one pays attention.

Must go to Fred Meyers.  They might have a my CD and the poster.

And then I have to see how much I can spend for my own birthday present or Christmas crap.

Ok, to-do list right here so then I dont have to make another stupid file
1) Fill out planner
2) Clean pile
3) Find my green pens
4) Clean out room next week
5) Clean computer desk
6) Organize clothes
7) I need a drink...Baby proof house somewhat
8) Buy A Hangover You Dont Deserve and try to find poster
9) Dont get so pissy about my aunts opinion of my productivness

I can do this in two weeks I guess.  I should.

L. Arts-Ms. Mullins is cool I guess.  We sat in circles while doing that packet thing.  She did bitched about not talking to our group but we finished first though but whatever
Algebra-Algebra is still nice.  Mr. Doyle has some messed over opinions.  I understand the FOIL method but WHERE THE HELL DID THE 11 GO??  I missed James all the sudden while we were doing homework, felt interesting
Lunch-I swear the lunch ladies leave us the leftovers.  This is the second day Ive had to get pretzels.  We voted for Bush or Kerry after eating it was fun.  Except some of those leadership summa kids were acting like they were the fucking candidates.  Especially that one chick who wouldnt let me and Katie go up the stairs
SSR-We got candy!  Eyes Of The Dragon seems like a good book but I think Stephen King majorly likes the name Roland.
CIM (Anatomy)-Well, it started off happy since Tim didnt sit by us but Tyler had to continue talking to him so he end up sitting right in front of me.  He drank soap, cut his hair and his *carpet* which is just fucking NASTY.  I moved like one, two..four times until he left me alone.  But I had to sit by the girls and Tyler was all alone.  I feel like a bad friend but TIMS GONNA BURN IN HELL!
Gym-We had Mr. Schmidt who doesnt like me.  But that Speed Agility Testing was pretty fun.  I swear he tried to kill our right calfs.  My left leg is throbbing from the lack of energy or whatever the hell its called.  Natalie will always be a guy, lol!!
Science-Ben should leave our table the hell alone.  I know he wants to get on my good side  but it's 3 years too late.  Ms. Vanden Berg is the best science teacher Ive ever had.  I actually learn stuff unlike Ms. Johnson and Ms. Allen who can both move to the Yukon and skin polar bears.  Had a feeling James was going to come back and he did!  Im psychic
Social Studies-Goofed around a little with Michael and then watched the news with James until I got suddenly sleepy and decided to lay my head on my chair.  I kept myself awake by tapping Swing, Swing and My Paper Heart on the back on my chair.  I hope I didnt annoy anyone.

My aunt thinks that Im a lazy 13-year-old girl.  Yeah well whatever.  Im not the one who isnt

Im going to stop, I shouldnt waste my time bitching about that.

But I will bitch about Chris.  Or, what he said.  Right so, Im not a faggot.  Check my damn IP address.  Match it with previous ones and the latest ones.  And why would some person start insulting Michael when all Ive said is EAT IT WITH JESUS?  I mean, the only people who knows Michael well enough to know that he has a fantasination with Jesus are me, James, Val, Natalie and Mattie.  Its Michael.  Hes insulting himself and I added stuff.  I dont mean it, I sound freaking stupid so wouldnt that help you too?  Or am I the only person on earth who notices small behavior changes?  Sometimes I think I am.

Campfire cookies
And John Hughes movies
Jr. mints & cold shower Tuesdays
November shivers and rearview mirrors
And the little things like that

I need to do l. arts.  I need to go upstairs and just like stay away from everyone else.  And I want James' sweatshirt lol.  Its cold.

Your lord and master,
Lisa

Today's Song-Mosh by Eminem
Today's Other Song-We're All To Blame by Sum 41

Come along, follow me as I lead through the darkness
As I provide just enough spark, that we need to proceed
Carry on, give me hope, give me strength,
Come with me, and I won't stear you wrong
Put your faith and your trust as I guide us through the fog
Till the light, at the end, of the tunnel, we gonna fight,
We gonna charge, we gonna stomp, we gonna march through the swamp
We gonna mosh through the marsh, take us right through the doors, come on

And now we're all to blame,
We've gone too far,
From pride to shame,
We're hopelessly blissful and blind
When all we need
Is something true
to believe
Don't we all,
Everyone, everyone,
We will fall.

Say you and a starving child was in a room together and there was a piece of chicken on a table.  If you ate this piece of chicken, you would go to heaven. But if you gave it to the child you would go to hell but there would be world peace.  Which would you chose? You or the greater good of man kind.

My brother claims that he has an IQ of 200 or was it 210, I dunno I forgot.  It doesnt really seem like it sometimes, but it could just be his tongue stud.  I have one of 140 but its been since 5th grade since I took an IQ test.  He has some interesting views though.  Like the question above.  I got it from his away message

Answer above all, even if you dont have a straight answer.

Dance around the "straight" line.  Im a perfect dancer in this world.

I didnt know that it was such a roller coaster, but it certainly is.

Before school-It was a rush of blood to the head
L. Arts-The jazz sky hushed dramatically when Halloween night came to an end or something like that.  Jazz is a nice color.
Algebra-Didnt learn anything, talked to Jared and Jack most of the time.
Lunch-Real nice.  I think we confused Megan Bradley which was fuunny.
CIM-Tyler is a wimp!
Gym-I dunno why all the other girls in my class hate tai-bo, I like it.  I didnt really enjoy it today since I forgot my gym clothes (stupid, stupid me)
Science-Its getting better.  Im strong!  Lol *thumbs up*
S.S. Mr. Doyle thinks Im a trouble maker.  Tee hee.  I'll show him.  I'll sit by Michael when Humberto is gone and I'll raise my hand everytime I have an opinion even though its certainly not rated PG.

Mattie, you were right, I did lie.  Well I didnt actualy REALLY lie, I flirted around with the trtuh and the fibs.  My answers were, he's my poppa, it'll be weird and I dunno if I could kiss him.  And he IS my poppa, it will always be weird to go out with a best friend and and that last one was to make you happy and tell him everything.

I get the golden swastikas and Michael only gets the silver rubied ones.  HA!  GOLD!  With my birthday stone all over it, yeah thats right.

Your lord and master,
Lisa

People older than 18, you need to vote for Kerry or Nader, or just NOT Bush