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| The Day Back |
| 03.28.05 (9:00 pm) [edit] |
Todays Song-Winding Road by Bonnie Somerville
I AM... a person who would wear a tutu in the rain and dance around on a football field completely alone.
I AM... Peter Pan.
I AM... a second-generation (Chinese) Cambodian.
I AM... wishing for a thousand dollars to pay for a once in a lifetime ticket to Cambodia so I can finally understand my parents.
I AM… a horse.
I AM... an East Coaster (U.S.) person by heart.
I AM... blunt.
I AM... one of the biggest carnivores around.
I AM... as judgmental as Scarlett O’Hara.
I AM... tired of people who say "they don't care about anything" even though I used to be one of them.
I AM... too lazy to do what I need to do.
I AM... too scared to do what I want to try.
I AM... a person who could spend their Saturday mornings taking a four hour test.
I AM... able to sleep anywhere on any surface quickly but my own bed.
I AM… am envious of the type of people I don’t particularly like.
I AM... someone who wishes to be different from whom I am now but am fine with myself.
I am also in deep shit if I dont finish my homework.
Well, today was the first day back from Spring Break..freaking full of joy.
Loud people
Melissa hating me
Brittany hating me
Practically their whole group of friends hating me
Pictures for the Iditaread thing BECAUSE IM THIRD PLACE YO! Beat the summas!
Got an amazingly pretty necklace from James, love him so much.
Homework, right, homework...
Your lord and master,
Lisa
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| Why Cant Other People Have A Relationship That Lasts For Months? |
| 03.19.05 (9:49 pm) [edit] |
Todays Song-Tonight, Tonight by Smashing Pumpkins
But honestly, why cant other people have a relationship that lasts for a couple of months? Why cant friends back off like they should? Why do others pick the ones who will hurt them in the end?
James and I must have like a friggin fairy tale relationship.
I havent stopped thinking about him since Friday.
..Man was that a lot of really nice kisses
And that was one hot note.
This is driving me crazy. Val and Tyler should be happy for as long as it can go which should be like at least two months! I watched them during lunch, Ive never seen Tyler so secretly happy and into it.
Yeah I know, "its not a big deal" said you.
But still, a little crazy.
------------------------- ---------------
My aunt's crazy. Not the one who lives with me, my other one.
The one with three daughters and 9 people living in her house and 3 other people practically living there too.
I bet it would be cheaper if she made all of her relatives (husband side) live in their own damn house and have their own damn jobs while she paid for half of it. She has 5 more people coming! How is that going to fit?! She's gonna need a goddamn bus! And what happens to the only Christmas presents I get from my family?
Yeah my parents give me a Christmas present but like three weeks in advance so it doesnt feel special anymore. Or they mix it with my birthday if its "big"
I know what I want for gifts too so that makes it harder than years ago when I didnt give a crap about the jackets I never asked for because I didnt ask for something specific.
They could barely take care of their own daughters, how are they going to take care of 4 nieces and nephews?
And do they not remember that Im the only one over the age 12 who has a future?
Not that my second cousins dont, just that the way they're going, I dont think theyre going to college.
Im going to Stanford! Im going to be a pediatrician! Im going to be just as good as my pediatrician who went to Stanford!
What happened on tuesday was not funny.
Appointment my ass - when does a niece need an appointment for her aunt to drive her to her fucking school??
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Reading schedule:
Saturday-Places I Never Meant to Be: Original Stories by Censored Writers, Teen Idol
Sunday-Teen Idol (CLEAN FREAKING HOUSE!!)
Monday-Laughing Away On A Fast Camel, Calvin's books
Tuesday-Fahrenheit 451, 1984
Wednesday-1984
Thursday-Gone With the Wind
Friday-Gone With The Wind
Saturday-Scarlett
Sunday-Scarlett
Busy Spring Break.
You want to know what the sad thing is? Im probably gonna be early on this schedule because of my sad life.
Your lord and master,
Lisa
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| DJs Hate Kids..Arrr |
| 03.17.05 (8:05 pm) [edit] |
Todays Song-Come Away With Me by Norah Jones
I would have really liked to dance to that to make up for last year.
Stupid DJs
Today:
L. Arts-Drew clovers?
Algebra-Cold...tried following Mr. Doyle but totally gave up and figured out this perfect trinomial squares by myself. TRISEXUALS!!!!
Lunch-Jon slapped me on the side of the head *accidentally* so I went to look for Mattie and I found a room full of guys in Ms. VB's room watching basketball. James was in there, I found that interesting.
SSR-Guys were watching basketball and since I sit in the front, I had Chris, Boki, James and Jared around me. Quite amusing. And really cute.
CIM-Our class went bowling so we went to the library and then to the office to help out.
Technology-Interesting
Science-I actually got work done!
Social Studies-Stupid Mr. Doyle talking about the Trail of Tears and making me all sad.
Celebration-Well...
Aaron touched Mr. Robson's ass!!
Tyler and Jon tried running into the tables in the cafeteria and and they stopped because a parent was right there.
There werent any slow songs.
A lot of people asked the Weener AKA Tyler Turner to dance.
Kissed James good bye and would have stayed there all "gooey" if I didnt run away.
Arrrr
THEME PARK!
MY GRADE!
103!! OH YEAH!
Our group's average is 101.8
We schooled Andy and we schooled a lot of other people.
Tyler's not in any of my CIM classes anymore, stupid him following Boki. Now he's all alone and I stupidly chose Animal Studies. I should have picked Science Through Film. Stupid animals being endangered and making us have zoos. Stupid him.
New list of what I need to do-
Clean windows
Clean doors
Laundry
Throw away useless papers around the house
My knee hurts like crap, I have a red bump on it because of an infection from scraping it on the carpet and then banging on it with a tile floor.
Your lord and master,
Lisa
I love you James
And we will dance, we will, we will, we will.
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| Yes, Another One |
| 03.13.05 (9:33 pm) [edit] |
Todays Other Song-Wheel by John Mayer
Yes, I know I already wrote todays post but like, I need to do this.
This way, I will actually read it everyday.
WHAT I NEED TO DO BEFORE SPRING BREAK-
-Laundry (a billion times)
-Clean out drawer-
Clean the thing near bed
Clean stuff on printer
Clean stuff next to computer desk
Organize books
Find books
-Organize clothes
Return clothes
-Find hangers-
-Count hangers-
-Organize hangers-
Organize family room
Throw out useless school supplies
Put away gym thing
-School everyone in tech
Create a Calvin's folder
Clean out boxes in room
Save documents before grandma throws away everything Ive done over the years
Fold blankets
Vacuumn
Adjust rug
Hide Book Of Love
Locate all paint pens and put in black box
-Organize clothes on hangers
Put away shoes
Find shoes
Find Oasis CD
-Wrap hockey book-
Put away CD cases
Put away books
Paint nails
Throw away old candy
Find a box to put certain special stuff in and hide it
Eat healthier
Organize DVDs
-Look at cds on spindle-
Clear out the stuff in kitchen
Organize sink area
-Find bandage boxes-
-Find out who those birthday singers were-
Clear away weeds in backyard
Take vitamins
And if my cousins from Sacromento are really coming over here...
MAKE ROOM LOOK LIKE I'M A FRIGGIN GENIUS!!
Your lord and master,
Lisa
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| Heart On My Sleeve |
| 03.13.05 (2:25 pm) [edit] |
Todays Song-Um, Between Love and Hate by the Strokes
Yeah, Im reading Heart on my Sleeve by Ellen Wittlinger. (Page 125, oh yeah)
Ive read a total of 2 hours and 30 minutes plus yesterday which is like an hour (wait, I also read that other stupid book) so 40 minutes more..Oh wait, I also read at night for like an hour and a half..340 MINUTES! I WILL SCHOOL THE SUMMAS! No one can beat me at reading, I read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix in like two days (excluding meals, shopping and sleeping, but if you include that, three days). Man, Im on a roll.
You gotta roll with it,
You gotta take your time.
This is my weekend without theme park, oh man, it feels great...
Other than Tyler breaking his arm in two different places because he fell full weight on it. Oh well, he'll live, I mean, he has a lot of pills. I hope he gets a light blue cast. And I hope he'll let me by the first one to write on it since Im the only one who writes/draws on him. And if people like start trying to, like the people who dont know him as well as I do, it wont be fun.
Now that Im thinking about it, I dont think he's going to wear his watch, DARNIT! I love that watch! I spent an hour to count those stupid moving rings.
On Friday, I went to the library and Costco and Safeway. The first time in a long time I went shopping.
And then yesterday I went to Tillamook, Cape Meares and Oceanside City. We got oysters at Tillamook and I got 50 cents worth of little shells in these little balls. And then at Cape Meares where I swear Ill be every weekend once Im old old enough, I found a perfectly intact seashell and fossilized "fish brains". Cape Meares isnt a beach, its a little place along the ocean with like maybe four feet of wet sand and lots of rocks. It was amazingly windy and I felt unbelievably "free". I sat on the rocks facing the wind and ocean looking for more pretty stuff and my jacket was coming off.
Oceanside city though, I felt a little more "trapped" in the human world. There were idiots in bathing suits doing regular stuff you do at beaches and we (my parents, Calvin and me) sat on the wooden fence looking at the sand and ocean that I couldnt see since we were facing the sun now. There's this other prettier beach but you have to climb down a whole rock cliff to get to it. But the sand is so pure and beige its perfect. Its really far from the ocean though. My cousin has a picture of us there when they came to visit. (Its the beach where we tried burying him in the sand.)
Im definitely having a beach house when Im older. I dont need a log cabin in Colorado, now thats just plain money wasting. A beach house though, Im gonna really use it. Ill sleep in my white room filled with seashells and Ill drive to the beach every afternoon. Or well, maybe not a beach house, a house in Tillamook is good. Just ten miles from the ocean.
God I love the ocean. Its so salty and clean. Unlike lakes, I hate lakes, they are always dirty. And the ocean can be any color-light blue, aqua, green, dark blue, greyish light blue, greyish dark blue, purple, orange, red. Its just a matter of what part of the ocean youre at. And the seafoam, salty air, the waves..god its just so beautiful.
You dont have to wonder about people dying where youre at near the ocean either. Nobody would be that mean to die somewhere so beautiful. Lakes though...and rivers..
Except for the Columbia River, now thats a good river.
And the Multnomah Waterfall, thats a good waterfall. I wanna go swimming there again.
Stupid phone making me sound pompous and one of those asians that I hate.
You know what? Id pay like a hundred dollars for a perfume of the ocean that completely catches its scent. I was thinking of maybe making it on my own somehow. And Id have it in a swirly ball with a ball of real Oregon sand in it.
Im such a beach girl.
Completely in love with the ocean, its scent, seashells and the colors of the ocean.
Which is why I couldnt live in like Pennsylvania or Colorado. Id have to live here, or New Jersey, Delaware, or Ohio, or Michigan. Maybe New York, I love the city too.
Just somewhere near a huge body of water.
Your lord and master,
Lisa
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| Patches ARE Cool |
| 03.10.05 (9:56 pm) [edit] |
Todays Song-Go find one, um, There She Goes by Six Pence None The Richer
I am not a dork for liking patches.
Alright, I honestly think I have a problem.
I sleep a lot.
Yeah thats it.
I was taking another nap on our tiny tiny one seater thing and my aunt who buys me clothes walks inside, pokes me and says LISA I HAVE A JACKET FOR YOU!
And it turns out to be the exact same jacket that Melissa has that I really really wanted.
I dunno, I didnt take it, I dont like wearing the same clothes as people its like they shop where I shop and its like stalkerish to me.
So, she said shes gonna get me a red one instead but the last time she said she was gonna get my another type of shirt or whatever, she didnt get it.
Know what bugs me? What Heather said to me in the locker room. "Geez you talk about Nikii a lot."
Alright, no.
She and Val both started the conversation about her.
And Im strangely not afraid of her, I know I can like beat the shit out of her.
Her funny attitude has like BEAT ME UP right behind it.
Whatever.
Your lord and master,
Lisa
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| Like WTF Mate? |
| 03.08.05 (9:52 pm) [edit] |
Todays Song(s)-
Jenny Was A Friend of Mine
Mr. Brightside
Smile Like You Mean It
Somebody Told Me
All These Things That Ive Done
Andy, Youre A Star
On Top
Change Your Mind
Believe Me Natalie
Midnight Show
Everything Will Be Alright
All by the Killers.
Right, so Im now going out with James again after 89 hours of being single (3.70833 days).
Yeah ok, almost four days. Im not one of those chicks who dumps a guy and then goes out with him like the day after, I think about it.
Course there wasnt anything to think about, I missed him like crazy even though he pissed the hell out of me on Friday and Im not done with him yet ahem.
And anyway, he took twenty dollars from Val to buy me the Killers cd because I told Val it would make me happier and he put it under my binder and I almost chucked it at his head because he was just too nice when I was supposed to be ignoring him.
How do you ignore someone so sweet?!
Drove me nuts I tell you, drove me nuts.
And I played the cd in CIM Prep since Ms. Pittock is crazy enough to give us all laptops.
And and I love the cd.
And and I love him and Val.
Today was Chris' birthday, I gave him all the money I had..seven dollars. Ooh yeah.
Hopefully we can go over to his house on Saturday, I should ask first though.
You know what funny funny funny?
Katie being a fruit and obsessed with everything asian.
Actually..its not funny.
Its downright fucked up.
Before School-James and I got back together..I put Chris' birthday hat on his head and it fell off but its ok. Oh! I wacked Tyler with a bag of bows and
L. Arts-
Algebra-
Lunch-
SSR-
CIM-
Gym-
Science-
S.S.-
Dangit..my dad said I have to get off
Edit this tomorrow
EDIT-Or not since Im so lazy and cant remember yesterday
Your lord and master,
Lisa
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| Zombie Feeling |
| 03.05.05 (10:29 pm) [edit] |
Todays Song-In Heaven by the Pixies.
I dont know, its 11:33, I should be sleeping.
But instead, Im constantly checking stuff on the internet and doing my s.s. even though I planned to do it tomorrow.
I dont know what Im expecting. Its worthless to check my bookmarks every 7 minutes.
I just want to talk to Nataly or maybe Val or tell Tyler about the stained glass dragonfly lamps on eBay.
Actually, I want to be at school. That way I can be like this there instead of here.
Your lord and master,
Lisa
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| Dont Take Me For Granted |
| 03.04.05 (8:42 pm) [edit] |
Todays Song-Blueside by Rooney
The colors have built up in my mind
Theyre bleeding through my heart
But nobody knows that they exsist
Look at my burst veins
Now do you see the red in me
Its a sign for the red
Only the end
Of the red
Will show you my blueside.
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Its over and I love him.
I broke it because I felt like I didnt get enough attention because Im a girl,
and Ive been pissed at him for a couple of days,
and I didnt want to hate him so I broke it.
Nor did I want him to break my heart.
He shed the skin of it, so its bare.
Its like my heart is a paper mache heart.
I thought about it today,
I believe I started liking him that sometime before the renaissance fair in s.s. in 7th grade and we were taking notes and he took my purple pencil pouch and gave it back sneaky like.
And I think I realized it after I broke up with Jon.
Your lord and master,
Lisa
Me (9:21 PM): Did I do the right thing
Ty (9:21 PM): sure
Me (9:21 PM): Right
Ty (9:21 PM): if u dont like him hangin round other girls then yes u did do the right thing
Me (9:32 PM): I feel awful
Ty (9:32 PM): no u dont
..Right, right, right, right,
Right.
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| Mad Lisa Day |
| 03.03.05 (10:10 pm) [edit] |
Todays Song-Losing All Control by Rooney
and
Whatever's Left by Snow Patrol
I want the Killers cd.
I dunno.
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-Call me so I know you lived
-God, you break my heart sometimes. If I were to cry, youd make me laugh and take me out for a run. And then maybe trash stuff. Thank you for being my "hope".
-You, need to shut up, sort your priorities and not hurt anymore of my guy friends. You were geniune, now your fake.
-I miss you
-I miss you
-Thank you for being true. Dont change.
-Why couldnt you follow my directions? Do I have to write it with a sharpie on your stomach? I told you to leave it. But no, no, no, no.
-If you werent so much of a "rocker", youd be cool
-Maybe you are good and I was too quick to judge.
-You, are no longer the saint I know.
-I miss you
-Why cant you pay attention to me? Is the only time that you will is when Im pissed at you?
-I wish you could find your love already but we're only 8th graders.
-Lol, squirrel boy, I love you.
This is in order of something.
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Am I just the most blunt person in the world?
Or, am I a super being.
I am an alien.
Or, am I classic sociopath, one who lives life acting like a human but is another type of person having no guilt nor true humanly expressions.
Do I copy myself out of books and movies?
Dont confuse a classic sociopath with Chris. Hes a different kind of sociopath.
I dunno, sociopaths tend to not have kids and I want at least two.
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One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Six.
Seven.
Eight.
Nine.
Ten.
Eleven.
Twelve.
Thirteen.
Forteen.
Fifteen.
Sixteen.
Seventeen.
Eighteen.
Nineteen.
Twenty.
Twenty-One.
Twenty-Two.
Twenty-Three.
Twenty-Four.
Twenty-Five.
You my friend, are a sociopath.
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God, today, James, I dont know exactly why, but you really pissed me off. Not in the anger way, the more like just disappear already way.
A lot of people need to disappear for a couple of days. Maybe two weeks.
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Today:
Morning-I followed Jared and found Tyler and Jon and Jon put duct tape on me FIRST EVERYONE! and I became his bitch. And other (poorly) selected people, the vending machine, a locker, two doors, an apple and Ms. Strama's window. I dunno how they do it, but they sneak out of the school and walk around outside, no I stand corrected, run outside. Im so slow compared to them. I didnt want it to end but I had to since they were too far ahead from me.
L. Arts-Um, story. James meanly took back his necklace from me.
Algebra-I dont know. I cant do grouping anymore, I could do it before but now I horribly suck. Froze once again. Heather and I made a new seating chart.
Lunch-I went to lunch, really. Light apple juice is disgusting. Looked at a magazine with too many people to name.
SSR-Mac did something else, but I cant remember.
CIM-Tyler, Sawyer and I had too much fun doing absolutely nothing. Tyler, doesnt obey me. Sawyer, has a sick mind. Yohan and Katie, actually work!
PE-Played in a half court game with the guys in my homeroom. Was the only girl. I made the first basket. They run a lot.
Science-(To be intentionally left blank so the reading understands how screwed this class is)
S.S.-Natalie is a hoe since she has hoe lollipops, oooh. Um, James did something, whole class went "oohh" I didnt speak nor looked at him until the end of the day. Man am I weak. And, you nasty freak offs, nothing more than PG was happening. I avoided him, he tried getting me to look at him. *sigh* But, we did some theme park stuff and I finally got to talk to Chris again. He has no clothes, ha, he has preppy clothes that hes afraid to wear even though sometimes preppy clothes are ok unless you go over the top.
11:16, my curfew is 10:45
My OCD makes me turn everything around me into what I want.
Or maybe, thats not really OCD even though I said yes to mostly every question to this one test.
Your lord and master,
Lisa
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| Lack of Sleep |
| 03.02.05 (9:25 pm) [edit] |
Todays Song-Smile Like You Mean It by the Killers
I honestly dont know nor care if thats the second time its been song of the day.
Well, maybe if its the second time, the song of the day can be Stay Away by Rooney..
Make a move on me baby
I cant be the one whose
Always taking chances
See me down
So you get down
No, you've got me all wrong
I just want to kiss your lips
And you kiss back
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I had a crazy ass dream last night.
I pissed off James to the point where he ran away from me and was all alone on curled up on a bench in school sorta getting teary eyed.
And I shook everyone off and walked slowly his way.
And when I reached him and sat on the bench, I said I was sorry and I kissed him, and he kissed me back and he kept on kissing me..and it went like that ahem until my grandma woke me up.
Some of you guys cant imagine doing that with him or anyone most likely but Im so different.
I like him anyways.
It was almost TV like but much much realer
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I lost my sister because she ran away to Cali.
She bought a new car with my uncle's (moms side) money,
Told my parents that she was going to go to a better optical where she'll be the boss and will get paid more.
Yeah, so, she left without saying good bye, without paying my uncle (so my mom now owes him 10 grand plus 300 a month interest), without contacting us, wouldnt contact her own boyfriend, didnt work at the optical.
Theres a chance shes gone but I dont think so, she cant be gone.
She turned 22 on Jan. 17, my mom was really happy.
My own brother gave up on her.
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Lets see, I lost her, I lost Michael, I lost Mattie, I lost Katie sorta, I lost Yoshie sorta, I lost Ellen, I lost Her, I lost Boki but slowly getting him back, I might lose..
Or maybe I just misplaced some of them.
Or, I might have really, actually lost them.
I havent gotten more than 11 hours of sleep since winter break.
And to me, thats really unhealthy.
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Val, I refuse to let you go.
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After theme park-
Sven talked to me a little during L. Arts but only because Im right behind him and he played with my pencil.
Chris looked at me in the halls sometime during break.
I cant remember if I said a word to James.
I didnt really laugh with Val.
Or well, laugh at all today, except during CIM.
But Tylers so, him and Im glad hes like that because someone has to be like him.
Course, Ive never really seen him behave the way he behaves with me with anyone else but for Sawyer.
The teachers were pissed.
Mr. D was unrationale, he talked more shit than Leslie said in a peep whisper.
Mr. Mullins, dear god do I want to push her.
Ms. VB was on the edge.
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L. Arts-I wanted to go back to sleep
Algebra-Froze to death, watched Mr. Doyle yell at everyone, didnt listen a word he said. I honestly didnt listen to a word he said. Instead, while people were barely paying attention but paid enough attention to respond to some of his questions, I made my own seating chart..that I need to fix again.
Lunch-I started going to the lunch room until I noticed Val, Leslie, and Nataly going the other way towards the classrooms. It was a good time, until Michael, James and Natalie showed up, made too much noise and changed the cd. Goddamn does Michael's music suck like ass? I love Dashboard Confessional. And honestly, am I superior to Michael? Because it feels like it. Im the almighty asian queen to him. Hes just another one of my bitches to me. And James, thank you for saying you care about me. *cough* whatever.
SSR-Mac did something thats something I definitely know..but I dunno what.
CIM-The shark is back. Our table did the logic games worksheet and then I played cards with Tyler, Sawyer and Rachel while Heather and Tish read a magazine. I love playing cards. Duece! Pocket! Rocket! One eyed man! Ladies!
PE-Played basketball with Aaron then joined up with Jon and Michael. I foul so much. I got hit in the head three times.
Science-Got so bored I counted the holes on the ceiling.
S.S.-We changed seats. Hecka fun. Especially since -
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Alright, someone explain to me about the asian stuff.
YES IM ASIAN!
YES OTHER ASIANS ARE ASIANS!
God, asianese, ok that was fun before with stupid people but now its not so funny.
There are different languages in Asia because Asia is the biggest continent on Earth.
"What are they speaking?" "Asianese of course!"
"Are you chinese, or asian?"
GODDAMN IT PEOPLE! ITS THE SAME!!
What are we? 13? 14?
I LEARNED THE WHOLE "ASIAN" THING WHEN I WAS THREE!
Back when my sister and her ghetto ass friends were all-god Im not gonna go on about it.
Sure I may be a little psycho on this, whats the big deal? So your asian? What about all this talk about asians?
My problem is that some of you fuckers are the dumbest racists on earth.
Not really racist, just that its like you only talk about a certain race and thats it.
I have a problem with it, I dont know why its so strong though.
Maybe because I know Im asian, I dont need to be reminded, Im like whiter than a shit load of people and I worked hard to be my own person and not Another asian at school.
Im proud of it too even though its hard since Im the first generation of my family to be in America and be American and learn their ways.
I have it harder than some people, they have experience, they have parents who make money because they were already here and learned how to work.
But then, my parents, they came from Cambodia like 30 years ago, they have no money to pay for school, they can only work.
Even though my dads a super genius. He knows the entire history of the US.
They both only got some high school schooling because of the Catholic church.
Also why my dad's here.
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Im done now, its late, Im tired.
Your lord and master,
Lisa
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| Smile Like You Mean It |
| 03.01.05 (4:22 pm) [edit] |
Todays Song-All The Things That Ive Done by the Killers
I wanna stand up, I wanna let go
You know, you know
No you don't, you don't
I wanna shine on in the hearts of men
I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand
Another head aches, another heart breaks
I'm so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection no no no no
Help me out
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You know what just completely dawned on me?
Now that I dont have a reason to do stuff at school, I get incredibly bored.
Honestly, I dont want to leave Tyler, Nataly, Boki or Aaron but then, I want to get the hell away from everybody and do my high school stuff.
Today was such a drag.
If we like dont get a schedule change, Im kicking some asses.
Its all back to normal now..
L. arts-nothing
Math-Mr. Doyle still talks too much
Lunch-Hate it
CIM-Tyler and I are too close
PE-Im all alone with my own self.
Science-Oh hell, another fucking dumbass seat.
S.S.-I wanted to slap Mr. Doyle
I wonder if my aunt knows that her kid ISNT MINE!
Dude, I swear, Ill knock some asses down if I have to take care of my cousin.
I just got over theme park, Im starting my boring life, let me recover a little at least.
I dont need to get goddamn sick again.
Sure I wanna talk to my doctor about my mouth problems, OCD, my knee, my lungs and becoming a doctor but goddamn it, I have a headache already.
And then, I have this other problem.
If I had an exact duplicate of myself, I wouldnt be friends with me.
I just thought about it on my bus..
Im so fake, yet its all real.
The way I act around Boki and Tyler and Jared, my true self but with a squeakier voice.
The way I act around Natalie, goddamn it.
The way I act around Val, Jesus.
The way I act around Nataly, oy-I knew I could be myself like that with at least somebody.
The way I act around Michael without Natalie, why couldnt I be like that more often?
This one man said "to have people like you, you have to change your behavior and thoughts."
I can do that, just that Im tired of the changes, and some of the ways I act arent cool with me.
My dad started talking to me one night at like 12 one night about how friends arent important and that only family matters.
I guess its true, I mean, Calvins blood and he cant leave me.
But like James, Natalie, Val, Tyler, Nataly, Katie, they can.
Anyday at all, they can stop being friendly towards me because theres no hidden rule or bond that says that we gotta be true and stay with someone forever.
My dads childhood friend of like 15 years, hasnt spoke to him for like more than 10 years.
And yet, my uncle lives with us.
Id kick asses for my friends, but I would kill for Calvin I guess.
Sometimes I think, damn Chau family..
But Im glad Im in it.
*sigh*
Whatever
Your lord and master,
Lisa
I love James
And I think I might always will
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Indie Rock | | 83% |
Classic Rock. | | 67% |
Emo & More | | 67% |
Indie | | 63% |
Punk & Pop Punk. | | 50% |
Britpop | | 46% |
Ska | | 42% |
Hip Hop & Rap | | 42% |
Industrial | | 38% |
Mainstream | | 33% |
Hardcore | | 25% |
Country | | 13% |
Music Recommendation
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