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| Promise Broken |
| 09.30.05 (8:21 pm) [edit] |
Todays Song-Dirty Mouth by Hot Hot Heat
Remember my last post about that something special being posted today?
Well, I didnt think about it at all today.
So here is my uncompletely birthday wishlist-
1) The Format starter pack on theformatmerch.com for 30 dollars (3 cds, a shirt, 4 buttons, 4 stickers and a poster)
2) Headphones that arent queer (I have trouble with my old queer ones, the ear thing falls off and it doesnt get into the player well)
3) A Hellogoodbye shirt
4) Blank cds
5) Any band shirt really, I need to show my support to those I love (not ANY band though...)
6) Andes Mint Chocolate thingys
7) Peppermints
8) Shiny duct tape
9) Giftcards to like book stores and shit like that
10) To see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire THE WEEKEND IT COMES OUT WITHOUT MY PARENTS NAGGING AT ME ABOUT MY LOVE FOR HIM!
[11) Crosstide cd, but theyre local, so itll be uber hard to get that]
Wahoo.
I think of these things and usually I dont get them, but thats ok.
I like lists.
I have an abnormal liking for lists.
Different styles, different bullets, how theyre just in a list.
Why did I pick Dirty Mouth as todays song?...
Lit and comp-We had to get in gay ass groups (I was with Juan, football player and small redheaded idiot who wishes to be a skateboarder). First Ms. Ray talked for like 40 minutes about absolutely nothing. Shes in her mid-thirties and she acts like she's out of college. Its sad, cuz she acts worse than Ms. Mullins and her skin's all sagging and Argh, she pisses me off. I started cussing in my group, the football player and shorty from Stoller get all mad and shit. Ok, wahts up with Stoller people and swears?! I start cussing at them and like theyre all OH! YOU SAID A BAD WORD! WASH YOUR MOUTH! Five people have done that to me. I want to put some swear word on my shirt so theyd get extra pissed. The football player had a pile of crackers and I took one and he grabbed for it and I licked it. "Harsh" yeah well I hate you guys.
AT-Bored
Intro to child care-The girls at my table are pretty cool, theyre cooler than the girls in my first period classes. They actually talk to me. Even though like..the girl next to me has done it. It. And she's a freshman. Like 5 feet. I was like "daamn.."
Lunch-Fine
Japanese-Seating arrangement! Ha ha! Now Im not stuck behind Alaina and Cheryl yabbering away! Cheryl's voice drones and Alaina's hair bobs up and down. You get pissy after a while. I had an ok time. Aced the test. Learned stuff about currency. Now currency Im skilled at. Introductions..um, no.
Hajimemasite. Watashi wa Lisa desu. Yon juu sai desu. Doozoo yoroshiku.
*bow*
Ow...
VAL WAS HERE! HA HA! I GOT HER GOOD!
The goods' on the hat!
Man do I miss her.
I drew her a picture in AT, cuz I always do that.
Who wants a picture? I draw when I dont have homework and my book's making me sleep.
The inside of my left knee is dying.
Im scratching the outer layer off and currently its all red and bumpy and sweaty? Or that could be tiny droplets of clear pus.
Id do anything for new skin.
I cant believe I went to Safeway today instead of going to that band fundraiser thing.
Good golly, I now have Good News For People Who Like Bad News!!!!!!!!
Oliver Twist is getting better.
Im about to die.
About.
When black turns into red, and red turns into black, its a sign that Ill go nuts pretty soon.
I thought my red nail polish on my thumb was black.
And my AIM background red.
My computer desktop is slowly turning red...
Your lord and master,
Lisa
Mono El Sea (11:18:01 PM): I think he has a fear of girls
lArrYnAmEddEsIrE (11:18:13 PM): wwe're not girls
How could I forget that?
Absurb...stupid high school
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| I ALWAYS GET THAT LOOK! |
| 09.29.05 (1:16 pm) [edit] |
Todays Song-A Lack of Color by Death Cab For Cutie
And when I see you,
I really see you upside down.
But my brain knows better,
it picks you up and turns you around;
turns you around, turns you around...
In the past hour, I ate two glazed donuts, a vietnamese sandwich, a handful of chips and a quart of apple juice.
And the only thing that makes me feel sick is the fat in the donuts and the amount of meat in the awful sandwich. It was only meat too, my mom told the sandwich makers to not put any veggies in them. I like pickled carrots and that white stuff.
After school, I saw things, and I dont know what was on my face.
Jealousy? Pissed off? A cool look?
Pissed with a side of jealousy.
(My cousins are so dumb)
I told my mom and my aunt (the one who spends a little too much money for jeans) about how Natalies going to go out and eat dinner and that I could come but my aunt was like Oh no! just eat dinner at home! Its so much cheaper! And you dont need to hang out with your friends, just hang out with your cousins!
Uh, no.
They lived in Cambodia, true Cambodians will never change.
Unless theyve lived here for most of their life, speak fluent English and accept the American way.
AND MAYBE ONCE THEY STOP TOUCHING ME!
I swear, sometimes I want to like grab onto their arm and yell MOST OF THE PEOPLE WHO DO THIS ARE QUEER! but then theyd get startled and get pissed and shit like that.
Cambodians cant be gay. Cant. Theyd get shut out of society and crap and when my mom was explaining this to me, I was thinking CAMBODIA IS A LOAD OF SHIT!
Because it truly is.
Never have I seen a culture be so goddamn dumb.
Course Pol Pot started a genocide and all of the smart to slightly intelligent people died.
Except my parents, they were too smart to show their smarts.
..Why couldnt I be like Thai or something instead.....
Global Studies-Write an essay suppporting or refluting this statement "The military should be the first response to a (national) natural disaster"
Frankly, I want to say no, I know theres something else better than the military...but what? Supporting is always easier than refluting.
Gym-Excellent, I did 41 curl ups, but only got 5 push ups. Yoga for the rest of the class. Theres a pose where you put your hands on the mat and put your feet halfway up the padded wall so your ass is leveled with your shoulders and I skilled at that. Ninja powers. Horrid at going completely upside down though.
Chemistry-Man does my class rock. Theres this asian named Jun whos like Harry Potter and can almost rap. And theres a Brit named Gerald whos Draco Malfoy. I love how he says Hogwarts. "Chem-is-try is the coolest subject, it unlocks the secrets to..his-tor-y!"
Lunch-Excellent, but Jared kept bugging me about me not having anything better to do. Course I do. I choose to walk around with the lonely Jared. But he only does that when OTHER people walk with us too.
Geometry-Test. After test, sucked. So bored. Dobashi kicks ass though. "Cheerleaders, they always ask a lot of interesting questions"
Before school I got that look.
And then later without something, I didnt get it at all.
Connection?
Even the something noticed.
I need to make myself an imaginary friend.
Lol.
I want new headphones so bad.
ALRIGHT! HEY! TOMORROW I SHALL POST SOMETHING EXTRA SPECIAL!
That no one will care about.
But I totally do.
*wink*
Your lord and master,
Lisa
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| Ever Notice... |
| 09.28.05 (12:57 pm) [edit] |
Todays Song-The Sound of Settling by Death Cab For Cutie
How necklaces fit nicely around your neck but never on your wrist?
I hate that, its always like too small to loop it again on your wrist so now youve got this dangling thing.
Oh wait, by killing my hand I just got this thing on...
And it fits quite finely.
I need some sleep, seriously.
Last night, it was 11 and I was doing lit and comp and I wrote "the senior walked into the room and something something stole everyone from the teacher" and I almost cried about it. I wrote senior and thought of what Jared brother Tim said "I cant wait until college, then it doesnt matter if Im too tall to be 14-years-old, I can still play the part" I dont want to become 15. 15 means permit, 16 means license, 17 means SATs and college applications, 18 means becoming an adult and moving out.
Does that not seem depressing to you guys?
Once November 30th, Ill only have 3 more years until the end of whatever I have left of my childhood.
I think I might cry about it now. Argh, I really need sleep.
Only when sleep deprived am I depressed.
I wonder if the seniors know that, that after this year theyre done.
College, jobs, spouses, children, grandchildren, death.
I hope in my next life Im a cat.
My cell phone sucks.
I cant text message, I have the suckiest games ever, theres like only 10 thingys in my address book (most are family and CHECK YOUR MINUTES! VOICE MAIL! PAY BILL! crap), no awesome ringtone, no camera, its like crap.
I just want tetris on it, is a 6.99 game too much to ask for?
Not like I want an awesome wallpaper, ringtone, text messaging...I just want ONE GAME!
Ive got cingular too, so its free to call me if youre cingular.
But who cares? Not me.
I see you in the halls, in your class, youre sometimes next to me but I dont really see you. It tears me apart.
If I was given a choice, what would I pick?
You know, Death Cab For Cutie isnt highly uplifting.
But its what I want to listen to.
Lit and Comp-Jake tapped me on the shoulder and we had a four sentence conversation. Maybe things are looking up for this class. Maybe Jake isnt self centered and doesnt have his mind wrapped around skateboarding. I actually almost fell asleep in this class too. I finished the worksheet seven minutes before everyone (no guy dripping wet outside the door ha ha) and I put my head on my arms. Later I heard a pencil drop on the desk to my left (course Im all the way to the right where theres only a pole next to me). Is this class too easy? Hell yeah. You, partner lady, you bug me. B-U-G the H-E-L-L outta me.
AT-Read Oliver Twist (maybe Dickens isnt for me), played with green duct tape. Practiced Japanese
Intro to Child Care-Class sucks. Way too slow.
Lunch-Eh, I signed up for Art Club. Oops, I forgot to ask my cousins about KEY club.
Japanese-Sucked as usual. I dont want to fail this class, but I will. This class will ruin my 4.0
Theres duct tape on my computer desk.
I should like duct tape some cheap heels with the shiny silver kind.
Nappy nappy nap....
..Geometry, Chemistry, gym shorts, global studies, Japanese, Intro to child care.
D-a-m-n.
Your lord and master,
*sigh* Lisa
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| Comfort in the Sound [and Smile] |
| 09.26.05 (7:38 pm) [edit] |
Todays Song-Marching Bands of Manhattan by Death Cab For Cutie
I got tired of Motion City Soundtrack..listening to one album for two weeks will do that to you.
Anyway, Im done with that rock faze, back to my Indie-ness.
Hm, what to wear tomorrow.
I know on Wednesday Im wearing my green skirt.
Cuz you know, I so plan my outfits. [nah, my cousin wants me to wear it]
This damn cd isnt downloading. Why not?!
Lit and Comp-Extra prepared this class, I read the story THREE times. Cheryl is an interesting person to be partners with.
AT-I finished Candy and Me and fell asleep.
Intro to Child Care-If that guest speaker became a doctor, then Ill rule my med school.
Lunch-Borgain (sp?) has hot hair. His name rhymes with Rogaine. For a moment I thought that was his name, lol. I told him it would of sucked if it really was Rogaine. Then I was planning to NOT walk around with Jared but like I dunno, Im used to it. Who cares if he told me to hang out with Rachel and Katie adn Shayla and even had them make me hang out with them, he doesnt remember it. I told him about it, and he was searching the door frame for the memory for a minute. His eyes are a peculiar blue. Anyway, its hard to be mad at guys, they dont notice. So the efforts a waste.
Japanese-Sucked.
Im the only person in that class who sorta hates it.
Theyre all like OH MAN! JAPANESE! IM GONNA WORSHIP IT!
And Im like..er, I took this class cuz I couldnt say hello in french.
Next year, Im totally taking french. Who cares if I dont have the tongue? At least I love french movies.
And Jared told me what condoms was. Lol. Sounds sorta like preservatives.
I wore my druggy hat today at school. Oh yeah.
First time since first grade I wore a hat.
High school brings out changes.
Your Heart is an Empty Room is a nice song. I like the music and singning.
Your lord and master,
Lisa
I took a nap this afternoon. First time since I got this computer back.
Woah.
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| Jello Shouldnt Be Able To Turn Back Into Water |
| 09.26.05 (3:46 am) [edit] |
Todays Song-Better Open The Door by MCS
You better open the door before I take a hammer to the wall beside it.
Argh, I should be asleep for the next four hours.
Instead, Im waiting for 7:15 to suddenly hit, walk over to Leeda's then go to goddamn Lit and Comp.
Must go over Teenage Wasteland *gotta look up that damn Who song*
Gotta eat my bowl of ceral,
AND make a whole rough draft of a Parenting brochure.
I just looked up Baba O'Riley, stupid song, stupid story.
Ha, I dont think Im gonna do the brochure thing right now.
Leave it for AT.
Saturday...
I GOT A CELLPHONE! I GOT A CELLPHONE! I GOT A CELLPHONE! I GOT A CELLPHONE! I GOT A CELLPHONE! I GOT A CELLPHONE! I GOT A CELLPHONE! I GOT A CELLPHONE! I GOT A CELLPHONE! I GOT A CELLPHONE! I GOT A CELLPHONE! I GOT A CELLPHONE! I GOT A CELLPHONE! I GOT A CELLPHONE! I GOT A CELLPHONE! I GOT A CELLPHONE! I GOT A CELLPHONE!
Sunday...
I went to downtown and shopped under the Burnside bridge. Ha, hippies and druggys unite. I love it when the crazy beat out the goths.
I got a yarn Tibetian hat/cap/beanie, a Maagic Muushroom glass marble necklace, two metal thingys that are the sweetest things ever. And ate an ELEPHANT EAR! with strawberry lemonade. I should of gotten a hot dog too.
So my cellphone..I need to like put numbers in it.
First family then you guys.
Or, well, who cares.
I WANT TETRIS ON IT!!
But its 6.99
Damn.
Your lord and master,
Lisa
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| Affliction |
| 09.24.05 (10:10 am) [edit] |
Todays Song-According to Plan from the Corpse Bride Soundtrack
Back in the day where there wasnt any DVDs for you to watch movies, CDs were new, Costco still had those food stands outside the store and I was younger than a 3rd grader (or was a 3rd grader); my mom, Calvin and I went to Costco. For some reason, my mom bought us movies. Calvin and I were old enough to walk around the cart instead of being in it and we were on our tip toes peering into the cart trying to get a look at this one tape my mom got. I grabbed it, and it had this skeleton on a hill that curved, was black and well I couldnt read so I didnt know what it was. We went home and popped in it in the VCD player. We watched it, got scared when Jack went underground to get Jill from the Boogyman (so scared I hid behind a pillow) and fell in love. I fell in love with The Nightmare Before Christmas when I was like 7. Normally, 7-year-olds would get scared out of their wits and throw the tape away to the darkness where it belongs. But I watched it over and over and over and over and over.
I fell in love with Jack, Halloweentown, the dead woods with the holidays carved on trunks, the dog, the duck mad scientist, Sally's wickedness, props and background, everything. Except the boogyman.
The movie's amazing man. And not in the Ahh! I want to be Goth! way.
And now, after 12 years, Tim Burton has another animation film.
THE CORPSE BRIDE!
I
WANT
TO
SEE
IT
BADLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So badly Im listening to the soundtrack and nearly crying.
Ah!
------------------------- -------------------------
LAST NIGHT I WENT TO THE FOOTBALL GAME!!
It was great.
I didnt what the hell to do but walk to the football field.
Then I went to stand in a line and saw Jared older brother.
And saw Andy through the fence.
And got in for two dollars.
I found Rachel, Chelsea and Katie!
Katie and I went to go find Tyler and Boki!
But we found Aaron first! AH! Aaron! We like hugged, he spun me around, made funny sounds and skipped! Oh how we skipped!
We found Tyler with his mass of hot read hair, Boki, Lindsey and her friend.
I hugged Ty, he didnt hug me back. Oh well. Ive only truly hugged him twice so its ok. Tylers not a hugger.
And I gave him a shirt.
I went to go find Jon but I FOUND NATALY INSTEAD!
Actually...she jumped on my back screaming and I turned and started doing the same!
Ah, SHORTY!
Went to find Jon again adn didnt find him for a hour.
Talked to Natalie, everyone, hugged everyone, had too much fun.
Tims Lieng's girlfriend is hot.
I cant believe it.
Also shes like asian.
Jon's girlfriend actually LISTENS to him.
I seriously cant believe that.
Tylers still an idiot when it comes to girls.
Nataly did get taller!
But is still short.
Val was Val and oh how I missed her!
She needs to get her ass back by 2nd semester.
Band needs her and also I need her.
Aaron grew his hair out again!
But AH! I LOVE HIM!
------------------------- -------------------------
AH!
I loved last night; even though Tyler paid an awful lot of attention to Lindsey and me (worthless, utterly worthless) and I couldnt give Jon a hug.
Jon, Jon, Jon....
------------------------- -------------------------
Im going to Costco later, lol.
Your lord and master,
Lisa
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| Argh |
| 09.23.05 (1:19 pm) [edit] |
Todays Song-Attractive Today by MCS
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I am wrecked. I am overblown.
I am also fed up with the common cold.
But I just hate to say goodbye
To all the metaphors and lies
That have taken me years to come up with.
Say it's true. Say you like me.
(I like you.)
Just for the night.
for me, it's been eternity..
And as I gently sip this drink,
I think about my lack of future,
And all the places I could learn to fall in love.
I know I shouldn't waste my time,
Wishing I'd been better designed,
yet for some reason still think...
I am wrecked. I am overblown.
I am also fed up with the fucking common cold!
When I just want to feel alive for the first time in my life,
I just want to feel attractive today.
------------------------- -------------------------
Morning-I cant remember
Global Studies-Earliest memory...
Mr. Dellerba: Alright! everyone get partners and discuss (shit)
Lisa: *looks around* *notices shes the oddball out*
Lisa thinks: Goddamn I hate this class. Theyre all squares and Im a circle. Look at that, everyone has a partner but me. One, four, six, eight, fourteen, sixteen, ....thirty one. So I truly am the loner. I hope he doesnt look up and notices Im not participating. *glares at class and Mr. D*
Mr. Dellerba: Alright! stop talking! Now who shall be my victim?
Lisa:*continues to glare at teacher and prays he doesnt call on her*
Just pissed off the entire period
I hate that class. Group of people. The same people I have for lit and comp AND global studies.
Gym-Sucked.
Chemistry-Test
Lunch-Sucked
Geometry-Ok, I had Shey
Assembly-Sucked
Today basically sucked.
Especially this one part of the day.
Fine, if you seriously want to get rid of me, Ill stay away. No more hanging around you. Itll be like we never became better friends. Ill hang out with my chick friends.
Goddamn this school and the people in it.
I just want the girls to think, hmm, we shouldnt shun her.
And I want the guys to be my friends.
Cuz I like guy friends, I prefer them over girls.
Except like best chick friends.
I just dont want to go through another two years trying to get the guys to accept that Im gonna be their friend and that they should shut the hell up about it.
I want the counselors to come back to my first period and ask us how much we like Westview.
Whats that? Lisa has three fingers up? Three out of ten?
Does she really hate the people in this school that much?
No, I dont hate it.
I dont truly hate the people.
I hate myself.
Hate that I cant speak,
cant be me,
cant sleep in class;
I just want to yell at my behavior and bash myself around.
------------------------- -------------------------
Calvin just came back from school.
His last period is gym and he ran a back to back mile.
Only one to do that.
And ran out on the fields.
And he actually got a shirt.
Why couldnt I be like that?
Lisa can go to the football game.
She'll see her other friends who dont go to Westview.
Hopefully she'll get the reception that she daydreams about.
Or did she manage to actually lose her friendships?
*lays head on desk before miserably fold laundry*
Your lord and master,
Lisa
Or have I become a servant?
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| Joyous Day! |
| 09.22.05 (7:19 pm) [edit] |
Todays Song-Everything is Alright by Motion City Soundtrack
Its almost ten, Im completely done with homework (well, I could study for my Chem quiz..but Ill do that in the morning), Im showered and I have pudding.
Excellent.
Things keep getting better.
Morning-Hung out with me peeps yo.
Lit and Comp-Discussion thing, I would of joined but I was afraid of messing myself up. When one doesnt talk for thirty minutes and then is expected to join a class discussion, thats not cool. I was about to say Maybe Mrs. Miller is a schizo! but then they moved on to the Angel of Death thing and I was afraid of my voice cracking and it was like 8 in the morning. Who participates in a class discussion at eight in the morning?
AT-I read Candy&Me..which is quite nuts. Then drew another picture for Nat cuz like, no one appreciates my random marker artwork as much as her. I mean, if I were to give one to Chris, he'd be like "um, ok, thanks *shove into backpack*"
Intro to Child Developement-Er, crap. The people at my table think I have a thing for tape since like I had some in my backpack (Ms. Floyd said we needed it!!) and I had duct tape on my jacket and shirt today. Duct tape rules man, its like self-explanatory. Im surprised though, I havent seen anyone else with like duct tape on their clothing. The goths are queer with their only black expensive clothing. Man, raggy black and duct tape is so much hotter and better.
Lunch-Ate a little bit since I forgot to pack food. Then walked around with Jared. We like actually almost walked around the whole school. We went through the south and north side. We saw Mattie, James, Tim (Jareds uber hot brother) and other people in the north. Now we know, A Days, walk around the north to bother people. Mwha ha ha.
Japanese-This class doesnt interest me. I feel bad, Im like the only person in the class who like doesnt like Japanese. Sure, I love the language, but I hate the class.
Afer school-Walked home, this time it was better since I wasnt focusing on the pain in my legs. I had my cousins to talk to.
I got stares and a hello over my head.
Your lord and master,
Lisa
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| This will be quick? |
| 09.21.05 (7:54 pm) [edit] |
Todays song-Hangman by Motion City Soundtrack
Today...
Before school-Came to school early and cracked jokes about the pole people. Hung out with my peeps until class. Wow, actually hung out with them instead of going to the acting place with Jared. Then followed Yohan to our classes and talked to him about knees before class actually started.
Global Studies-walked in with a good mood, got my shit out, studied my map, questions, more questions, after fnishing them and waiting for the idiots to finish-played tag with Alex, Juan, Robert and Cheryl...the other people around us didnt want to play. And talked and had a nice class. Then walked around the school in silence since Mr. D was trying to teach us something about space.
Advisory-I finally met my cat crew person. Cool hat. Bad class, hate it.
Gym-I got yelled at by Coach A like twice (one about doing push ups wrong and another about putting my left leg closer to the right side of my groin *she used those words*) but I guess it was ok.
Chemistry-Very nice. Did work, talked to Jeff and Gerald WHOS BRITISH! OH MAN! Jared's right, he is cool and I shouldnt hate the dawg. BRITISH I SAY! I love the way he says "Hogwarts" cuz like..we've got an asian Harry Potter in our class.
Lunch-Ate, laughed at the teachers doing crazy stuff and getting hit by sponges. Ha, that one global studies teacher in the Lower South got hit in the ass and his groin! God, he was like doing that Jon thing. It was great. And Ms. Love was calling everyone LOSERS WHO CANT THROW! PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY! Lol, I want her as a teacher.
Geometry-Better than Monday.
I like B Days.
I hate A Days.
But A Days give me more opportunities to hang out with this Mr. Guy From That One Daydream and B Days dont.
Oh well.
After school I had to walk home cuz my friend forgot me.
More than a mile,
Uphill,
Two binders,
two books,
two spirals.
And Im doing it again tomorrow.
I dont care now, Im getting a gym CIM by the end of my Sophmore year.
So I need a 8-10 minute time on my mile run.
Argh.
7 hours of sleep AGAIN?!
Sure!!
Your lord and master,
Lisa
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| Daydreaming |
| 09.19.05 (1:47 pm) [edit] |
Todays song-Feel Like Rain by Motion City Soundtrack
Im off man.
Seriously, somehow, magically I now pay attention to the teacher. And I can repeat the teacher back. But like..with that, my daydreams have gone on overdrive.
Maybe Im not so OCD as I think.
But still...
During Global Studies, after I was done with the morning thing (unlike everyone around me, I didnt cheat and use my notes; but then I only got one out of the three things Mr D wanted), I was staring around....and then somehow there was rain pouring down outside and the wind was making it go into the windows so it was loud and dark. And everyone was writing feverishly in their notebooks. Mr. D was stretched out behind his desk with his arms behind his head and was reading a packet. For some reason, my notebook was completely filled with my writing so that meant I was done..before EVERYONE! And then I turn to the door window and theres this guy (who I know, ahem) standing outside of it soaking wet. His hair was darker than usual and in little clumps and with water dripping down em. He was waiting for me to look at the door. He motioned to the door, and I got up and opened it. The guy started whispering stuff to me and I was concerned why he was outside of my class soaking wet instead of all nice and dry in his class, I couldnt seriously pay attention to a word he said. The girls next to the door (theres like 6 girls in my class, three of em surround the door) looked up and had wonder written on their faces. Mine had glee; theres a guy who apparently walked in the rain to talk to me, didnt go to his own class and the girls were watching me. And he said he had to go..also I was worried about Mr. Dellerba looking up and yelling at me and him. Now a nice third of the class was looking at us. We didnt dare to kiss...but, he blew one to me through the window of the door after I softly closed it and I blew one back at him. He walked away...I looked around my class when seated with a bright red face feeling awfully warm and all of my classmates had that look-"who is this girl?".
But then I shook my head and there I was, back into the real world.
Theres no rain on a clear September day.
Theres no guy outside the door wanting me and only me.
My classmates still dont care I exsist.
After, two counselors and one of the vice principals was in the room and they started talking about themselves and stuff. I thought my counselor was fat and old but really, shes tall, skinny adn has curly blonde hair. Who names a kid Beth anyway? Thats so 1960s. Then we had to get into groups and pretend we were on some island and what did it look like, blah, blah, blah make a map. Stupid maps...first we had to do a small one for the classroom, then our homework is mapping our neighborhood and today had to do that island thing.
After was gym..ran for five minutes and then yoga for 40.
Yoga's peaceful, but hurts the hell outta your legs (I could be doing it wrong).
Chem...did worksheets, started on homework while waiting to FINALLY do the lab. Lab..more questions. Argh. Also had to help out the Korean sophmore/junior with the math stuff and had to teach her significant numbers.
Lunch...was the first one at the table, finished half of my nutri bar by the time the guys got to the table. And then Katie came right before Jared and I forgot it was a B Day. Man, Chris' mom didnt pack him apples today (nuts!) and all I got from him was three soft grapes. Sven is a nice guy to share lunches with. Seriously, I love the whole *take two bites out of his uber yummy looking sandwich then put it in the bag and not give it to a hungry Lisa* I had a chewy bar with me also so its a good thing I packed extra since I didnt have my apple. Walked around with Katie after giving up following Jared. First we went to go see Coach A who wasnt there then went to LS to sign up for my honors book seminars. Met Chris and Sven there and they helped me find the poster (right in front of my eyes), Sven and I talked about which ones to go to and I signed up for one..he signed up for it then we discussed which one of the two left to go to. Chris said he couldnt go to one of them so we were sorta forced to sign up for the three short stories one. But like, ha, I got my honors crap and with friends! Also grabbed a purple sheet talking about honors. I should of grabbed one for the psycho Natalie. They all ate like a third of my mints.
Geometry..regular crappy math class. Had a quiz. Found out that everyday of math we're gonna learn one or two lessons. Argh. Fast.
After school...hung out with Natalie and those guys. One random guy was behind me singing into my ear...and another came like running at my face with his mouth open. Er, alright then. Ian gave me a high five back. Doubt he knows my name. He certainly knows Natalie's though HA! Then went to the car..and almost got into the wrong one. Lol, I opened the door to a gold one because I was thinking of my aunt's van for some odd reason and then like the guy in the front seat yelled HEY! and I was like OH SHIT! IM SORRY! and the mom was like Its ok honey, we make those mistakes too *laughs* But then I remembered LEEDA'S CAR IS LIKE BROWN/GREEN! Which was the van behind the gold one...they all laughed at me.
Stupid Lisa.
Nat's right..Laura's balding. That must S to the uck.
Ha ha though, Ive got extra hair, and she's like, balding.
Tee hee.
Oh, Im horrible.
But everyday, as I get more used to this rated 6, on a scale 1 to 10, school, I guess it gets better. I mean, I have a sense of whos near my classes and whos not, I know where some people are, classes are easy fo cheesy and Debbie waited for me after class!
Man.
And! I think my gym class knows I speak English! Ha ha!
Theres a Sunset/Westview football game on Friday, I desperately want to see Tyler and Jon and Nataly maybe (dunno if she can come to OUR games).
No one at school smells like Boki, no one has hair as red as Ty and no one has Jons sexy monotoned voice.
Now that I think of it, I dont think there ARE any redhead freshmen. Shame.
Your lord and master,
Lisa
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| Jane Eyre |
| 09.16.05 (8:21 pm) [edit] |
Todays Song-Black Star by Radiohead
I keep falling over I keep passing out when I see a face like you.
What am I coming to?
I'm gonna melt down
Honestly, I cant decide which Radiohead album is better, The Bends or OK Computer.
Jared likes The Bends, but the first Radiohead cd I listened to was OK Computer and Im so in love with it.
Lisas on a Postal Service, The Shins, Radiohead, Interpol, Fall Out Boy roll.
"Im a creep"
"Im a weirdo"
"What am I doing here?"
-Karma police
[Lol]
There was this conversation I had with someone today..quite interesting.
Something to do with what people might think when they look at stuff, denying it, jealousy, and a "hey, maybe we should do it just to cause it"
*sigh*
I dont know what to do if it happens.
I mean, I know what happens at the end and I dont like it.
Not letting it get to me.
Ill not pay attention.
IM NOT LETTING IT GET TO ME!
NO!
Too valuable to lose.
Even though I felt guilty, oh so bad at the end of the day without that look.
*bash head onto desk*
Alright, school...blows.
Ive put honors away to the back of my mind since day one of my classes. "If anyone wants to do honors, talk to me" said the teachers. I got a hit of what to expect today for lit and comp and its not pretty. Its tiring. But, filling out that SATs form and circling HONORS for my classes will be so rewarding.
And now I have homework. Its ok I guess, it fills up my day and I no longer get sleepy during the afternoon. Seven hours a day isnt too bad.
Right now I feel like blacking out though.
And I just found out about this project for Intro To Child Care we have to do. We gotta take care of a baby for three school days. I mean a computerized baby, so I gotta chug around a car seat with a baby in it to my classes. It will cry. It will be annoying. Hows that, I get to carry a baby to my classes. Ill be a 14-year-old mother. Father, anyone?
And Tyler's found his match. I havent even made a real friend. "lets hope," said the redhead.
Tim got a fucking girlfriend. Tim the trash can kid. Argh.
My classes suck. Everyone's made friends. My classes dont have kids in it who I could be friends with. I got stuck with the "girls are timid, guys are sportaholics" classes while everyone else has like "oh man! you like my type of music! lets talk about random shit!" classes. I have never met girls like that. I feel like stabbing their throats with my pencil.
Im reading Jane Eyre, and man arent we similar.
I only wish I had her vocab and her expression filled eyes.
Id do so well in that time period.
I should have taken french.
Screw Japanese being an easy language.
[sorry to my Japanese homies, you guys still f*ing rock!]
But I dont like the teacher much.
"Bang Sensei"
Whitey obsessed about Japan.
Your lord and master,
Lisa
and a "get out of my head...please"
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| Fifth of Five |
| 09.13.05 (5:11 pm) [edit] |
Todays real song-Fade Into You by Mazzy Star
So download it limewire users!
NOW!
I MEAN IT!
Oh man, now Im nearly done.
By the way, when I got home my computer was busted and yesterday my brother gave it back all spanking brand new and working beautifully. We've got Windows XP now and a new cd burner. Shaweet. Waiting four days for it was almost worth it. Ive got to use to the burner to determine if it was.
Sucked though, I just get back home and I start high school and my computer's down.
My friends thought I died. Or well, at least Natalie and Nataly did.
Thank you Natalie for calling me to check if I died in Cambodia or not.
And thank you Nataly for sending me so many emails. Way to yell at me.
I was tired for like four days after I got back anyway. I should have called people myself, but I couldnt get off my ass. Except when going to school.
A brand new school, so the first four days were spent finding my classes and finding out who has lunch with me.
It sucked.
First day, I wake up at 6:30 and my dad yells at me about caring so much about my looks and not enough on what to bring to school. Well..I did forget my schedule. But we got new ones! I was hoping that like my dad would drop me off right in front of the school and there would be my friends standing in front of the doors talking. And my cousins would ditch me and oooh there would be Natalie, Mattie, Leslie, Katie, and Vally running to give me hugs and and James would grab me and spin me around and fa la la.
But no, I get dropped off, my cousins grab my arms, I look for people but find none and get my new schedule with my cousins. My 11th grader cousin gets confused and wants me to follow her to the office to get her schedule cuz she wont listen to me about how hers is in the Lower South. I can read ya know. She lets me go, I panic and run around the north side looking for Lit and Comp 9. Goddamn. I yelled at some janitors to help me and they yelled at me back. I come to class late adn pissed. No one in my class is a friend. Teacher confuses me, I go to Advisory. Which is in N131. To get to N131 you gotta get out of the main north side and go to this weird place. I asked like four people how to get there. Got there like semi late. Intro to Child Care, south side. Hot damn. Asked two people, no friends again. Lunch thankfully. I get in some line. I dunno where it goes, I just got into it. Ah ha, food, I get a drink. Too pissed to eat. And then HEY! I SPOTTED JARED! I followed him and then found Natalie and Michael. Then we gotta leave and I try to find Japanese. Ha, Im early. AND OH I SPOTTED JAMES! Nice. Japanese sucked. I fell asleep after school.
2nd day...
N220 is similar to N119 so I had less trouble looking for Global Studies. Then gym, that was hard. I heard it was next to the cafeteria so I went there but got lost and asked an office person. Found it. Also found Leeda and Heather! Friends! Fitness/Movement sounded interesting. Chemistry...I sat next to a preppy blonde sophmore. I was hungry. The teacher looked weird. Pissed. LUNCH! I look for friends and find none but Jared again. Thank god for Jared. I followed him and he introduced me to something House, a band with a black brit for the lead singer, very awesome. I had trouble with his iPod though. And he showed me where the auditorium was. And told me James was in his acting class. He jinxed us. Honestly. He asked us if we were still together, I said yeah but I havent seen him and Jared was like "oh, you guys should be like not together if you guys dont see each other". Damn him. And ha ha, guess what...after lunch I met Natalie who said something about James being worried about me getting interested in other guys and whatnot. After Geometry I try my goddamn hardest to find him to talk and there he is waiting to break it. Smile.
smile, smile, Smile.
Next day, I slap Jared and yell at him about jinxing us. He laughed. Eh.
I wear my jacket to school everyday but Westview is just so damn cold. So really damn cold.
School's ok.
I dont like Japanese.
Even gym's better.
Today I saw Leslie for the second time this school year.
My friends dont understand the meaning of eight minute passing time.
I do.
Jared does, he taught me. I followed him again one day and our classes were open but he was still walking around trying to lose me (like Tyler before he gave up and just accepted that I rule his life) and he didnt go to class until after the bell.
Bell=one minute left. Plenty of time.
*sigh*
Your lord and master,
Lisa
I need to do homework
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| Fourth of Five |
| 09.13.05 (4:38 pm) [edit] |
Todays Fourth song-Middle of Nowhere by Hot Hot Heat
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So I have now ended my journal crap. But that wasnt the end of my vacation.
Heres what I remember...
August 29th
My dad's city again
We woke up at 4 in the morning to go to my dad's city so we can do a temple ceremony for my dad's mom adn dad. For the first time in over 35 years, my dad has seen his parents again. How? We got their wedding pictures! My grandmother's a china doll and my grandfather's a mofia boss. Lol, I asked my dad about it, he said my grandfather was so powerful that he was like 2nd in command. So we arrive there at 6 something. Its really early, the monks are about to wake up. Once they do, Calvin's *friends* take him and start to speak english to him. Ha ha, the last time we were there Calvin adn I were sitting in the trunk of the car talking in English and the monks overheard and they were like "Please come out of the car! We would like to talk to you guys!" but like I couldnt talk much since Im female but Calvin got to sit next to them. He made monk friends. One even gave him a card, tee hee. But like cuz Calvin got monk connections, he got to pet one of the temple's kitties and I didnt. Its a cool temple. Its not as big and powerful as the one in Battambang, its small and the temple is like a oversized hut. And donating 20 dollars to them makes us like life long friends. In Battambang, their like GIVE US MORE MONEY WE NEED MORE STUFF. Bad monks. In my dad's city, theyre good true monks. So anyway, we got there, we drove up a hill ot my grandparent's graves and we're on like a really high hill. Theyd call it like a mountain over there. And there wasnt a cloud in the sky so it was a nice 103 degrees. We stayed up at my grandparents graves for like two hours doing a ceremony thingy. Its not like a grave over here, over there its like WHASHAM! You get three headstone things AND your own platform. Then we got back down and the monks started chanting, we had to sit down adn clot our legs for like three hours. AND A COCKROACH CLIMBED ONTO MY BACK!! I nearly screamed. But that would have been bad with like, you know, monks chanting right there. I entertained quite a bit of the Cambos. And then we ate, said good bye to my dad's friends and went back to Battambang.
September 1
We drove to Phnom Penh since like the plane's here. We went shopping in a dirty market and then for some reason, we went a mall for the first time here. Now, we were here before in the beginning and they didnt take us to any malls. Just a dinky superstore. So when we walked into this 7 story mall with clothes and technology and a whole lot of a real actually mallness I was shocked. I didnt know a mall in Cambodia exsisted. There were clothing stores, a burger joint, a pizza joint, cds and dvds and tvs and computers. I got a skirt and four cds and two dvds with the rest of my money. I was sad to leave the mall. Screw my cousins and aunt for not taking us to this mall before. I mean, sure go ahead and take us to a real mall once we leave and have no money. They didnt even want to take us to the mall. My dad had to ask for like three days in a row. Good people. Then after going to the mall, we went to go pick up stuff from my uncle's sister's place to give to them. And then my cousin's mother-in-law's place. Then back to the hotel.
September 2
I wake up at like 7 and once we're all ready, we go downstairs to eat. After eating, we notice theres this monk standing outside of the restaraunt. Since no one's giving him money, and I havent given money to a monk yet I decided "what the heck, Ill give him my dollar" so I go outside, take my shoes off, trip, laugh, put my hands together and wait for the monk to stop chanting. And then he does something weird. He asks me for five dollars to buy him a school book (in Cambodian of course). I get confused and I motion at my mom through the glass doors to translate what the hell he's asking. My mom translates, I get angry. I think "why did you ask me for money when you guys are supposed to just chant and go away?" so I dont want to lose my last five dollars and I lie to him in English saying Ive got no more money. My mom goes in and steals my fiver and gives it to him. Now Im broke. We're still going to Taiwan and I dont have money to buy my giant Confucious pencil. I get pissed, and then we go to the airport. We have to wait outside since the Cambodian government is queer. We wait outside, finally we can get in. The people who arent gonna go anywhere have to stay outside. My family thankfully marches into the airport while my Bong Sith follows us with depressed eyes. When we went to a different part of the building, he followed and groped the window. He starts crying. I have the biggest urge to throw my backpack at him. Queer. If you want to come to America so much, learn frickin English. Save money. Do something. Pissed, board the small plane to Taiwan. The captain is Cambodian so naturally, he doesnt know how to do anything right. We fly through clouds the entire time. When flying through clouds, the airplane shakes. Dumbass captain. Dumbass small plane.
We get to Taiwan, my dad buys a pen cuz he needs one to sign forms on the plane. I look at my pencil and mirror in pain. No money hurts. We board the plane to America. I sit next to my grandma and this stranger in the middle of the plane. We get to San Francisco, we go to this door-to-door van thing and we plan to go to the greyhound station but oh! the driver dude can drive us to Sacromento! Score! We get there by like six. My parents decide "hey we can drive to Oregon! we dont need to wait until tomorrow morning!" so a hour later, we're packed and ready to roll. Before that though, Calvin adn I watched Jimmy Carr and that Amanda Bynes show on the WB with my cousins. So we drive to Oregon. We dont stop for food, I dont piss. I dont sleep either. But its ok. Driving during the night is much better than the day. Youve got lights and stars to look at. The stars are lovely at 3 AM in a Californian desert. Daylight, we're at Oregon. By past 6 in the morning we get home. I dont fall asleep until 11. And then I wake up at 4. We go out for sushi. Go to Fred Meyers. Calvin adn I are in awe. Man did we miss Oregon.
Man did I miss the computer, James and friends.
Ha...
Your lord and master,
Lisa
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| Third of Five |
| 09.13.05 (3:42 pm) [edit] |
Todays third song-1979 by Smashing Pumpkins
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***Day Sixteen***
12:50 PM on August 21
Upstairs in bedroom
I want pizza, a tuna sandwich, glass of milk, real root beer and to hang out at Powells. Someone needs to fly over here just to give me two slices of supreme pizza from Pizza Hut and a copy of David Copperfield by Dickens. After that last post, I went to a small town next to my dad’s miniature village and stayed at a hotel for four days. First day we went to two peoples houses. One of them had a 9-month-old boy who walked to my grandma, pointed at her and said “yey”. Yey is um, Cambodian for er, grandma? Smart kid. Second day we WALKED to the local market. I got three shirts, a skirt and three pairs of dress shoes for dun dun dun 34 dollars. Id have to pay like 80 in Oregon. Third day I watched movies and got introduced to Thai milk coffee. Fourth day, more movies but more 7-Up and “humbows” or whatever. Theyre white bun things with pork inside. Half of the meal was slightly uncooked. The bun part is my favorite part. Movies watched- The Nutty Professor II; Red, Blue, Blonde: Legally Blonde 2; The Frightners; Liberty Stands Still; Brave New Girl; Matchstick Men; a movie with Martin Shorts playing a 10-year-old boy named Clifford whos quite mischievous and wants to go to Dinosaur World; and another movie about this boy whos really abnormal compared to the people in USA’s Prune Capital City (called something else) and two people convinced him into believing that he was an alien and that his brain needed to explode due to something seriously to find out what planet he belongs to. So he tries to get laid by his stripper friend (finds that out later), looks up at a poster with the band B-52. And then he gets the idea hes from B-52. Yeah…Interesting. Oh, sorta the fifth day, we cleaned up our room and repacked everything and we all went to eat at the restaurant near the hotel (first time I went) and had a bowl of bad noodle with foreign meats and also for the first time of my life- a real cup of coffee. Like a real cup. I drank all of it. And I got another to go! I-I-I-I-I was majorly on a buzz. Ive never had more than three gulps of coffee and here I was chugging it. It’s a dollar over here and it tastes better than Starbuck’s overpriced stuff. In the car ride back here to Battambang, I was singing and other other stuff. Remember the bus ride in San Francisco? It was worse than that. A hour drive on a bumpy dirt road going 40 mph. How bad was it? No seatbelt, seat was slipping off onto the floor (riding in a truck), you need to grab onto something for dear life, your ass is moving constantly, jumping three inches after every other bump isn’t uncommon and when you finally get out of the vehicle to stationary ground, your ass feels like it’s its own thing. I almost kissed the ground. I know most likely all of you haven’t experienced a car ride like that. My feet hurt in more than 16 places too- a millimeter thick of skin is gone, leaving my inner skin unprotected and red but not bleeding. Around my toes too. Got it from walking to that market with flip-flops. My feet look suicidal with its bandages on EVERY toe. Must-want-gotta see-derma-tolo-gist-NOW! *twitch* It hurts to walk. I want a wheelchair or FOOT GLOVES AND BIG PUFFY SLIPPERS! Too bad foot gloves don’t exsist and I don’t have big puffy slippers. I wish I did. I want huge ones with like fluff coming out from everywhere that’s all colorful and pretty.
Conversations in the car:
∙ Me singing- My ribs hurt! My ribs hurt! My R! I! B! hurts! And I forGOT! a S! So actually! My R! I! B! S! hur-urts!
∙ Me – Why doesn’t the retarded king and queen sell of of their stupid golden chairs to PAY FOR CEMEMT TO PUT ON THIS ROAD?! Or their stupid brother?! “Im psycho looking, I should give the people money instead of keeping it to myself! Oh look! Im talking to the right. Im talking to the left. Im talking to the right! Im talking to the left! Im talking to the right! Im talking to the left! Im talking to the right! Im talking to the left! Im talking to the right! Im talking to the left! Im talking to the right! Im talking to the left! Im talking to the right! Im talking to the left! Im talking to the right! Im talking to the left! Im talking to the-”
Dad – LISA! YOU’VE GONE CRAZY! No more coffee for you! Youre cuck-coo! Cuck-coo!
∙ Me singing – Im going to get a headache! Headache! Headache! This car is moving too much! Moving too much! My ribs are banging against the side! My elbow keeps hitting the window! I had a lot of coffee! My head has been hitting things! Im going to get a heaaaadaaache. Headache! HEADACHE!
∙ Me singing – SAN FRANCISCO OPEN YOUR GOLDEN GATES TO ME!...other lyrics Ive forgotten.
Driving in Cambodia:
∙ Driver must be over 25
∙ Must drive MAINLY on the correct side of the road, drive on the other side if you want
∙ No seatbelt
∙ Sit ANYWHERE you want
∙ Have as people as you want in it
∙ Drive on anything that resembles a road
∙ Don’t hit anyone
Oh right, half-way of the hour car ride, we visited my dad’s “uncle” and he was smoking wah-heed. Before we asked what it was, Calvin turned to me when “uncle” was smoking and said “youre eyes look huge” Lol.
***Day Twenty-Two***
4:44 PM on August 27th
Upstairs in bedroom
Im just waiting here for the storm to pass so I can take a shower. Showering with the light going on and off isn’t exactly a blast. Today I woke up at 9:45, had noodle, watched TV and now Im here. The time I posted something, my feet got worse. I got to the point where I had so many bandages on my toes that everyone said something about them. Then we went to Siem Reap – a booming tourist city next to Cambodia’s main attraction and other ding-a-dongs. Angkor Wat, is er, well I didn’t want to walk and it’s a giant ancient temple where you walk a hella lot. There are like two gates then the final thing. Actually, I don’t know if we even go to the final thing. I didn’t enjoy walking and I wanted to get out of there. Ill be back – with good feet, shorts and heavy duty climbing tennis shoes. Oh yeah! I started limping and dirt got into my wounds and I started bleeding a little. We had to get out and go to the other temples too. My parents finally realized how screwed my feet were and told me not to use anymore bandages and that I will see the doctor when we get back to Battambang. That was four days ago. Or was it three-no, four. Theres a doctor at my aunt’s house since only the super rich have houses without jobs or anything. By the way, he’s not bad, hes pretty nice. So everyday at like 7, after I shower and before I eat dinner, the doctor takes off the stuff off my feet, cleans my wounds with pure distilled water or a sodium chloride thing, applies this brown-red liquid on it to sterilize and heal my wounds and puts a brown-yellow medicated patch on my major wounds. The stuff doesn’t hurt at all but the cotton balls freaking do. So anyway I went to Siem Peap and went to Angkor War (paint I have in my living room), Bayon Temple and another one that is way flatter than the other two and was in Tomb Raider. I didn’t go to the exact spot Angelina Jolie stood since I couldn’t limp around much but Calvin went and got a picture. I need tweezers to get this chunk of blood outta under my nail. Ah, the joys of a family curse. [I swear it’s a curse – every firstborn of a Chau gets the shittiest skin.] [‘Specially from the male side] [Poor me and my cousin Renee (the evil now two-year-old who controls my life; shes got me so sucked in I spent 50 on a gold necklace and bracelet for her).] Im going to paint my nails red. I need to buy more gifts for people, but Im like completely broke. I only have twenty dollars left. My parents owe me fiddy but they have to pay me when we get back home. I leave Cambo on the 2nd, arrive to the states and then come back home on the third. Before I leave-my dirty uncle found out that his 2nd wife had been cheating on his ass. I knew it was gonna happen. How can you have a honest SECOND WIFE/MISTRESS across the ocean?! Seriously, this is the 21st century also. I laugh at him and feel sorry for his five-year-old kid. Sucks to have parents like that. And also-my cousin Bong Sith (hey I just said cousin older cousin Sith) doesn’t like me. Lol, no-he just likes it when I undergo serious pain. “Lisa, is it time to clean your feet? *smile*” [in Cambodian of course] He gets all bouncy and smiles a lot and yesterday he was telling me over and over that it was time and finally I gave in and did my death march and sat on a seat and pop! My cousin’s grinning on my left. 26-year-old, yeah right. He had to sit on a different chair though since the doctor needed to put the tray on that seat. Shower time!
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Thats the last of what I wrote
Your lord and master,
Lisa
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| Second of Five |
| 09.13.05 (3:28 pm) [edit] |
Todays second song-Of All The Gin Joints in the World by Fall Out Boy
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***Day Four***
2:45 on Calvins wrong watch – August 9th
Room 203, Phnom Penh, Cambodia
I am here in the corner of my family’s room. I just finished taking a very, very hard bath/shower. Since this is Cambodia, there could be cameras in the bathroom. I had to shower with my underwear while sitting down man. So the flight-was good. We got seats by one of the emergency exits and we couldn’t sit there so we were to choose our own seats. I got my own two seats surrounded by no one. Calvin got three most of the time (sat by my dad). I also had an extra blanket and pillow and then I stole two more pillows. After an excellent lunch (chicken noodle, bread, watermelon, Sprite and water), so excellent I took a retarded picture. I fell asleep afterwards *cough food coma, so awesome* Mmm, sleep. Cambodia is 15 hour ahead, it should be err, so it should be like um, 11in Oregon. Or I could be wrong. But because I was sleeping during landing, I actually suffered that thing Natalie told me about. Dear (place name of any God), did my ears hurt. [My mom told me to put this in my journal cuz I said it and its true – “Its like were taking a three week long camping trip.”] Calvin’s watching an English tree cartoon on Hallmark. This one tree WANTS to get cut down. Psycho. Oh, when we got out of the airport, there were like this whole party of people whispering excitedly and starring. And then 8 people picked us up. 8. There was this guy with leprosy on the right side of the car (not related, wanted money). We went to their “house”. It was a thing in an alley. Imagine storage places but in shitty stone buildings. Theyre upper middle class. I want (no I take that back, I wonder…) where the poor people freaking live. This is a sad place. Outside, there are dangerous motorcycles everywhere, cars, jaywalking people, old people selling fruits and cleaning up trash and the building across the street is crap. Wires are hanging out over the side of the thing.
***Day Five***
9:49 PM – August 10th
In room in Aunt’s and Uncles (originally my grandma’s) house in Battambang
Im freaking sleepy and unclean but I know I have to do this. Holy crap is this place dirty. Bugs are everywhere. There’s ALWAYS flies around when you eat. You have to wear flip flops everywhere ; even in the bathtub. And toilet paper is like uncommon in homes. Holy crap (again), alright, the bathrooms here, ARE WORST THAN EUROPE! I’d kill for a clean bathroom that’s normal. Boki, never complain about European bathrooms ever. You have to turn on the lights outside of the room. You have to wear sandals. You cant let your pants touch the floor. Minimum butt and toilet contact. No toilet paper in homes. ALWAYS wet. Instead of flushing, you pour water in it so it goes down. Diiiirty. Also you gotta sit when showering. Water is unclean, its rain water or poorly filtered FREAKING RIVER WATER. Cant even call it a proper river, its like a poop colored moving thingy. Anyway, yesterday I er did stuff. Woke up way to early. Had noodle for breakfast. Had for lunch and dinner, flies were everywhere. We visited my aunt’s mom to give her stuff. Had this good fruit thing. It was like good white stuff shaped like garlic. It was covered in foamy-like red stuff with a ugly green/brown/grey outside. I took a picture of it. Well actually, I was going to take a proper one but I got yelled at so I had to take a stupid far away picture of them in a bowl with the adults. So after, we went to this weird place. It was like two towers/temple/stone buildings next to each other. One was taller than the other. It had this huge person with a tall hat and the other was like an asianized pyramid. Because like there was this girl and guy competing each other about who could make the tallest building in like a day or whatever (it could not have been in a day). So the girl tricked the guy and made him sleep while she kept building hers. Now the guy has to go to the girl’s family when they get married. I liked the girl’s building. Behind the two buildings was this food/check out place with monkeys. We bought bananas and gave them to the monkeys. Theyre cute and all but why do so many people like them?! I GOT ATTACKED BY ONE! I handed like the all powerful male leader a banana and then he started freaking attacking my legs. I jumped back and yelled SHIT! And no one cared (about me yelling swears). Pretty cool though, to be attacked by a crazy ass male leader monkey. [My dad and uncle were just giggling about opening and closing doors right now. Stupid ass drunkies. Jesus, I hate that.] Drove back, went to a stupid fancy restaurant where you ate outside in semi-darkness watching “singers” sing and “dance”. Then today we went to a market. I got a pair of jeans, two belts and a shirt for nine dollars. Sweet shopping. I got brown and black dress shoes for five at another market (the girl took the price too willingly, should of said three or four). Also drove for like five hours to this place. Hum. Im thirsty and hot. And pissed (‘bout my dad and this country). Im not coming back until I have to. Unless maybe it majorly changes-they make more safe rules, lift the stupid damn ones, gets cleaner, more clean water and replace the stupid people with better ones. Seriously, its only day five and I think I hate this country. That’s bad though. Its supposed to be my country, and everyone who went to this damn country told me this was an awesome place. Well, its not. I like the US a lot more. I may look asian and have some asian ways but Im fucking white man. Seriously. This race disgusts me. But then so do white people. And others. This human race disgusts me. Im not one of those mumbo jumbo people who try to be all philosophical when they aren’t but like come on. Dude, I watch the people out in this world and its sick. The US don’t care, Cambodia is sad and has been damned by God. I knew the karoke/movies my parents have are better than the truth but ey-yi-yi, this place is a dump. I miss civilization – badly. I want a hug from J.
***Day Seven***
10:36 AM on August 12th
Front area in my Aunt’s house; wall is open and theres a car in front of me
My grandma who’s to my left is talking to some greasy guy. He’s a doctor. Or whatever. This “house” is also a tiny hospital. By tiny I mean the second room from the front and a small room upstairs. Theres two cots, a desk, four waiting chairs and other small stuff. Oh right. Cambodians don’t have real houses. And when they do, its either like a palace or some dump of a hut. Im currently listening to Rooney. Coldplay made me miss people. Argh, only 23 days left until I come back home. Which could be the 2nd, I dunno, Cambodia is like a day ahead of you guys but we’ll be going back to Cali. No, I get it now. Ill be back in the states on the 2nd and Ill sneak into my cousin’s room to use his computers (THANKFULLY WITH DSL!). Yesterday my dad said he was going to a noodle place with my uncle. I got effin upset because I don’t trust my uncle. He’s not so nice and like his four sons all don’t like him. That says something about a man. You’ve got tons of money and four sons yet they actually like him. He shouldn’t have so much money. Then my mom tried talking to me and my voice kept cracking. I started crying. Jesus, before my dad said my uncle wanted to bring him to a SLUTS UNITE! Place and that he wouldn’t go because the girls could have AIDS. Oh? So would you go if they fucking didn’t?! So then she asked me whats wrong and I told her. I don’t trust my damn uncle (who has two wives) and I wanted to go home. Seriously, I want to go home. I should of taken my cousin Alli’s offer. To stay with her and the other 11 people in her house. That is better, so much better than huere even though like 6 of them are younger than me. I cant go home though. A frickin plane ticket costs 1500. That’s a mofo! This wooden chair hurts my butt and my batteries are dying. Lousy thing – lasts only for one cd round. We went places yesterday. And now Im here sitting in this chair for the last two hours. I woke up at like 7. Seven. Argh. Screwy adults who wake up early and yell when they talk. Even in the car. WHAT?! I CAN HEAR YOU PERFECTLY BECAUSE YOURE TWO FEET AWAY BUT YOURE STILL YELLING ARE ME?! WHAT! Right, looking at the orphan kids (I think) outside reminds me of counting. Ive counted 110 psycho white people who actually came HERE to visit. One was like a nature traveling hippie with a girl companion who took pictures of naked boys who were playing in a river at comes from China. Sicko. Want to go home, batteries are now dead and I have a headache. I want sprite and McDonalds. Ok, asian food for five days can kill a person. Not even good Asian food. Argh.
11:40 AM on August 12th
Third room from the front (behind doctor place)
So I moved. Im watching Sheep in the Big City on Cartoon Network and It reminded me of my book (Why Do Men Have Nipples?) and it said canker sores are symptoms of herpes. Ive got an *oral ulcer* (called something else normal that I cant remember) (not caused by herpes). Six days. HURTS LIKE CRAP! Like the size of a head of a small nail. Salty foods hurt. It hurts less than before but like, it still hurts and looks gross. Hee hee, canker sores are symptoms of herpes. I want ice cream and to go upstairs but the room’s locked (has to be) and Calvin’s sleeping and has the key. I should have taken it from him.
***Day Ten***
8:59 PM on August 15th
Upstairs in bedroom
I should take a picture of the rooms. The past two days were spent at a temple my grandpa and his brothers donated to. Also where he’s buried. Yeah, we went in the temple grounds and I thought we were going to go in the temple but first we went to this shabby place. My dad said my grandpa built it and we went inside like this dirty closet – like a room with a cracked cement floor. I don’t think anyones opened it in 30 years. We had to pray to this one section of the floor and I asked my mom what are we praying for and she said “say hello to your grandpa” I was like wah? Grandpa’s dead body is like underground a foot away? Its like like this real grave thing either. Hes in this giant jar under a cement floor in a holy place which he had built. Then we went inside the temple and monks chanted, adults talked about me and Calvin, my veins and arteries in my right leg clotted. Sometimes it sucks to be a Buddhist. You gotta sit like you want to stop blood flow to your legs and put your hands together for hours. But then it sorta ended and we took a break. My cousin Sith (I think that’s spelled right, or well its spelled like it sounds) had to shave off all of his hair, facial hair and eyebrows (he didn’t freaking take out the hairs growing out of his mole on the side of his face though…groooss). Dude, I didn’t know monks shaved off their eyebrows, I just thought they naturally had little ones. Then more temple stuff that surely clotted my blood if it hadn’t before. It was cool, my cousin wore a lace thing for a top and a Cambodian skirt thing. And he was bald – ha ha. Also found out my other cousin Et (spelled like it sounds) was Christian and that’s why he wasn’t in the temple. I was like “lucky…hmm, I feel like being Catholic now” Finally after a good like 11 hours at the temple, we went to eat at this severely crappy place (crappy as in sluts for waitresses and live karaoke – my no good uncle picked it) and went back to the house. Next day was temple day. This time I missed like 60% of it because my dad, Calvin and I were like “yesterday we were Buddhists, today we’re Catholic” My cousin Sith finally became a monk and the temple had to welcome him and other temple stuff. Girls aren’t supposed to touch monks. He didn’t really become one, he just became a “seven day monk”. Hes a pretty monk, it’s a wonder why he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Course you cant have a girlfriend when youre a monk and he wants to go to the US. The whole family would if my uncle (not the bad one, the good one) wasn’t like a doctor and then would become nothing but a foreigner once he comes over. They really should come. Bong (Cambodian for older cousin) Sith and Et know some English and hope to come and to school here. Too bad the US is screwed and it takes forever for them to get passed. Cambodians aren’t terrorists dumbasses, they have too many morals and are too dumb. Came back to the house and went to the store for food. Also went again today. Met two whities who didn’t believe we were Americans until my dad was like, we’re from Oregon, we’re here for a visit. And they were like oooh, this shop is really good, they have peanut butter. I was like idiot, you were starring at me and my brother when we were talking perfect English about the food here and stuff. My mom woke me up at six in the morning to go to this store but then said she had to do something else first so go back to sleep and they’ll be back. They came back at 8:45 and she was like we’re going to your dad’s cousins’, we’ll go to the store later. Woke up at ten, they came back at 11:30. Didn’t go anywhere so I took a nap until 4. Went downstairs, my mom forced me to drink homemade orange juice and to take a bath. She said we’d actually go to the store for clothes. Told my dad, he said its too dark to go. I was like, whater, I gave up when I took my nap. Now Im sleepy. Dude, this place is boring when my aunt and mom aren’t yelling/talking and my cousins aren’t around. My Bong Et has to sleep at the temple too for some reason. Theyre 22 and 26.
Your lord and master,
Lisa
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| First of Five |
| 09.13.05 (3:24 pm) [edit] |
Todays first Song-We Will Become Silhouettes by the Postal Service
First post-From journal I kept in Cambodia, due note I was there for like four weeks.
Also, I copied word tah word
[lyrics werent in it]
I've got a cupboard with cans of food, filtered water,
And pictures of you and i'm not coming out
Until this is all over
And i'm looking through the glass where the light bends
At the cracks
And i'm screaming at the top of my lungs pretending
The echoes belong to someone
Someone i used to know
And we become silhouettes when our bodies finally go
Ba ba ba...
I wanted to walk through the empty streets
And feel something constant under my feet,
But all the news reports recommended that
I stay indoors
Because the air outside will make our cells
Divide at an alarming rate until our shells
Simply cannot hold all our insides in,
And that's when we'll explode
(and it won't be a pretty sight)
And we'll become silhouettes when our bodies finally go
Ba ba ba...
And we'll become silhouettes when our bodies finally go
Ba ba ba...
And we'll become silhouettes when our bodies finally go
Ba ba ba...
And we'll become silhouettes when our bodies finally go
Ba ba ba...
And we'll become
And we'll become
------------------------- ---------------
***Day One****
sleeping on like five seats. I feel like bashing them with my backpack. Im sitting on the ground for heaven's sake and they're all like "ooh we're punk, we're depressed, we need five seats to lie on"
Interesting things that happened between the 6th and 7th:
∙ Calvin-"You should start a cult"
Bong Maup-"Why does everyone tell me that? Ive had five different people telll me to start a cult...Do I look like I have the potential to start one?!"
∙ Watching "Howl's Moving Castle" that someone videotaped in a theater (people went to the bathroom, lol)
∙ Watching a rate R anime show (MWHA HA HA) the first episode had as much as blood as was shed in the Civil War and the female mad mass killer was naked.
∙ Playing loads of tetris on my cousin's gameboy SP. Someone has to buy me that game, I love tetris.
∙ I realized how much I really hated this damn state
∙ I went to Wal-Mart (horrid experience), there was everything there; produce, stuff you see at Target, a minipet shop with dead fish floating at the top of the tanks, McDonalds, old people greeting you at the door, crap, crap, crap and more CRAP.
***Day Three***
7:31 AM -August 8th
Taiwan Airport
Ive been here since like six. My first airplane ride was very...um, well interesting. Not. Way to warn me about nothing Natalie. The greyhound ride was interesting too, I fell asleep. I sat in the front with my dad who switched seats with my mom half way to San Francisco. The three greyhound drivers (only one drove, the other two I guess where there to keep him company) were fat and talked about a lot of crap. It smelled like piss. I took pictures of the bus. We arrived in San Francisco and guess what? waited for the city bus in the freaking cold with a crazy guy, two college students, and two queers (one had a stretchy black shirt over a pink sweatshirt, girl jeans, pink fancy belt, white women's shows, jean jacket and earings. He was balding but he pulled off the hobo queer fairy look well, lol.) We got on a bus driven by a weird black guy. We went against the rules and brought our luggage aboard. I sat in the front with my grandma and was half off my seat since my backpack was huge. Shit that was the scariest bus ride Ive ever had. The guy drove past 90 mph in freaking San Francisco. 90 mph + hills + uneven roads + Lisa half off her seat = Lisa holding onto a metal pole for dear life while cursing away at the bus driver. Half of the people on the bus laughed when the bus driver drove like 100 mph and made the bus jump a yard into the air and I was yelling and bashed INTO the metal pole. Ok, it was freaking scary. I thought we were going to crash like every three seconds. When finally we got off I almost told the driver "youre pretty cool for bending the rules but that was a HELLA scary ride" but I couldnt speak. We arrived at after 8 and our flight was at 1:30 AM. I bought myself a very expensive dinner (11.94 thing of beef chow fun + almost 5 dollars for onion rings). I didnt even get a drink. I didnt want to spend that much on food but hunger made me get it. That was my last US dinner (also my last Lisa proper dinner). Calvin and I goofed around and went on all of those moving walk on thingy like three times each. Then we went to our gate (after getting lost since we didnt know we had to go downstairs). We tried learning some basic khmer crap but like stopped after "Im good/I had fun". Ha ha, Calvin said what I heard-"sex our bai" (bai = rice) and we were laughing for so long we scared a few people. Then, then, it was time to board (1:20 I think) and and we cut the line AND I FINALLY WALKED THROUGH THE TUNNEL THING INTO OUR ROCKING AIRPLANE! I took a picture...cuz Im weird. There were asians everywhere. Only four white people. The assistant people were asian too! For thirty minutes I looked out the window, watched the TV to see how high we were, putting my fingers in my ear and moving my feet (tahnks for making me all psycho about take-off Nat). I stayed up until past 3. I watched "A Lot Like Love" a very sweet movie. I woke up at 10. Couple of hours later I had breakfast (Mushroom egg omelette, sausage, peach yogurt, two biskets and some nasty bitter coffee) while watching Madagascar. Then we arrived at Taiwan! It was awesome, it was after 5AM and the sun was coming up and the city lights were turning on. Oh, yeah, I sat behind the let wing next to Calvin and my dad. We took pictures at this flower place and walked around. Im currently sitting alone here writing next to two guys who wont stop looking at me and a group of five white people (one 20-year-old something could speak better Cambodian than me - I feel sick). Its now after 8 AM and the flight to Phnom Penh is at 8:50. Im going to read my book with the cover facing the two guys, MWHA HA HA. The title of it is "WHY DO MEN HAVE NIPPLES? Hundreds of Questions Youd Only Ask A Doctor After Your Third Martini" by Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg. My parents are talking to me and the white chick is learning how to say "gay". My ass hurts.
Your finally back lord and master,
Lisa
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Indie Rock | | 83% |
Classic Rock. | | 67% |
Emo & More | | 67% |
Indie | | 63% |
Punk & Pop Punk. | | 50% |
Britpop | | 46% |
Ska | | 42% |
Hip Hop & Rap | | 42% |
Industrial | | 38% |
Mainstream | | 33% |
Hardcore | | 25% |
Country | | 13% |
Music Recommendation
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