Neo-Lisaism

Ah, Lisa exemplifies the process of disowning the true self.
With puberty she went from being a whole, authentic person to a diminished version of herself.

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Decisions Shape Your Life
04.29.06 (10:46 pm)   [edit]
Todays song-I'll Try Anything Once (you only live once b-side demo) by the Strokes


If I could, I would buy every cd they made.



On the ACT I scored a 22.
Can you say el-sucko?
The only good thing about it is that I got 100% in the science section.
Can you say science genius?

I flatter myself.



This week sucked and was pretty cool.


DOWNSIDES
I did my lab report wrong (I think).
I got some new cuts on my fingers.
I screwed up my ear even more.
I scored 18 on the English section of the ACT.
I didnt get much sleep (barely any).
I cried at school.
I didnt do my lit paper.
I got a new brown skirt that my two idiot second cousins both have.
I dont have super cool headphones.
I noticed how super fat I was and that pretending to be anorexic for a weekend does not work for me.
I also noticed how much Rachel and Hellina *hate* Conner though hes pretty cool.
I think I got slightly tanner.
I forgot to check out Romeo and Juliet.
I havent started on Great Expectations.


UPSIDES
I had several cups of coffee today. I can write my lit paper about Romeo and Juliet instead.
I got A Million Little Pieces (from the library).
I found an application for volunteering at the hospital and half filled it.
I got an iPod.
I went out for dinner today.
I played with this beagle/hound dog/something like that.
I noticed how long my legs are (though quite enormous).
I believe I currently have a 4.0 (except the whole lit paper deal).
I saw skin of our teeth.
I got a haul of candy.
I did some serious shopping today.
My math table is pretty cool.
The person I sit by in chem is also pretty cool.



Oh Na-ta-liee, you didnt tell me about going to California.
Thanks.
(Why?)


Excellent play you play people.
Someone should have told me that it was gonna end at 10.
My mom fell asleep during the war part.

I almost wanted to try out for the next play for next year.
But I then I remembered: I cant memorize a thing.
Im having trouble remembering the formula for acetate.
C2H6 something something.

Or inference.
For a moment I forgot that word.
(Im talking to Nataly about testing something).



My toes hurt.
I already cracked them..hmmm. The joints are a little sore or whatever.


I think Im gonna do other stuff.
Like play on neopets.
Cuz Im so cool.
And no one is on AIM.













Your lord and master,
Lisa
 
Unruly Hair
04.25.06 (6:47 am)   [edit]
Todays song-No Surprises by Radiohead



So far this morning, I havent ate breakfast (nor will I probably get to it), I havent put away my books from yesterday, havent finished reading the comics, and my hair is a mess.

I think I should shave it all off and be like that sophmore girl in my geometry class.
(Ha ha yeah right!)



Ive been thinking what needs to be done.

Lab report thats due TOMORROW YOU IDIOT, DO IT!
My lit paper, GODDAMN, YOU STILL HAVENT STARTED ON IT?!
Shit load of global studies
Math

Finish Wuthering Heights
Finish A Million Pieces (or whatever)
Begin Great Expectations and do the honors stuff for it
Write about comm. service for health Two other chem lab reports
Honors chem lab report (I dont think Ill do the real experiment)


Oh god Lisa.

What have you done to yourself?


Your attention span is as long as the word, "what?"
(What?)

And your breath fucking smells, what the hell is wrong with you?







So I need 70 dollars to pay for ipod stuff.
Maybe I shouldnt have taken it...
I mean, unlike most of my peers, my parents arent banks.
Maybe I shouldnt go to the play?



My lips are beginning to itch/dry out a little.
I should have never tried out my mom's neosporin (sp?) lip thing.



My neck is warm and hurts.
Like as if my headache moved down to the back of my neck.

Or a tumor.
Oh man, a tumor.





Its about time I go eat some food, finish the comics, fix my hair and put on some chapstick.















Your lord and master,
Lisa
 
I Am Back to Save the Universe
04.24.06 (7:00 am)   [edit]
Todays song-Airbag by Radiohead

I feel like Radiohead and the postal service.

Radiohead Albums Listed By How Much I Like Them (top being the best)
OK, Computer
The Bends
Pablo Honey
Kid A
(the other two albums I have, just havent listened to them)



My grandma woke me up five minutes earlier than usual and shes not down her herself.

I have an alarm clock that works perfectly well. She should let me use it.


This weekend, I created a job like holden's.
His is catching those kids from the rye field..mine is I cant remember.
But it was just as good.



I have a lab report due tomorrow.
Who did not do it this weekend?
Lisa.
Of course.



The minimum length of hair you can donate to Locks of Love is 10 inches.
Goddamn do I want to cut my hair.
I want to cut it so damn bad.



I did stuff this weekend.
I found volunteer applications for the hospital and printed it out.
I emailed for a saturday academy catalog.
And a PCC catalog.
Did math homework (not all of it or I wont have anything to do during at)
Went over to my cousins for steak and to play on their playstructure (also this nifty throwing game my 1st grade cousin invented-throwing poles=fun)

And other stuff.



So its almost time for me to dash off to leedas house.

Im gonna jet.















Your lord and master,
Lisa
 
It was all just a dream, I know
04.20.06 (8:46 pm)   [edit]
Todays song-Killing Lies by The Strokes



If anyone cares, I passed my W.O.M.B.A.T test.
And if you dont know what that is, then dont even bother asking.





Ive decided that I wont turn in my rough draft until I turn in my final.
MWHA HA HA!

Rebellious am I.

I'm sorta thinking that because Im missing a 30 point assignment Im much more comfortable in the class.
I know Im stupid.
I know I cant do anything.
So whats gonna stop me?
Not my classmates.
Oh no, not anymore.
I spoke up twice in global studies. (or was it three times)
And and monday, I actually volunteered to read from romeo and juliet.
Tomorrow, if we're reading, Im gonna volunteer to be juliet.

HA HA!

By george, I am on a roll.





Calvin called me fat.
Well.
Fine.



Calvins little friend (8:12:48 PM): what r u doing
Calvin (8:55:07 PM): peering over my sisters shoulders



So. Yeah.



















Your lord and master,
Lisa
 
A title I dont need
04.19.06 (6:38 am)   [edit]
Todays song-its too early





NOTE TO SELF:



DO YOUR DAMN PAPER!
WRITE THE ROUGH DRAFT ALREADY!
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!


IT WAS DUE ON MONDAY!
ITS WEDNESDAY NOW YOU IDIOT!
IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR BRAIN?!

MY GOD, YOURE STEPPING DOWN THE SPIRAL YOUR SISTER MADE!

YOU. DO. NOT. WANT. TO. BE. HER. AT. ALL!

WRITE THE DAMN PAPER!!!







Im an idiot yes?



German, when not spoken by fake Americans, is really hot.

Sometimes I wish that I grew up in New York City where my parents would be so fabulously wealthy that theyd send me off to europe for school and I would learn how to speak four languages. (French, german, chinese, italian)



I need to eat. I shall write my paper this afternoon and then send it to her via email sometime after and hopefully before 7.







Who am I kidding?















Your lord and master,
Lisa
 
Given a pound of raw peanuts
04.18.06 (5:51 pm)   [edit]
Todays song-Sundays by daphne loves derby


I dont like raw anything that came from the ground.
Im quite allergic to them actually.



I spoke outloud yesterday in lit and today in global studies.
Go me.


Last night, I realized that I should get off my ass and do things.


Tomorrow, Im going to the park!
Or..if I have to walk home and Im caught up at my cousins, well, Ill still go to the park!


I got on the computer an hour ago to start my rough draft that was due hee hee yesterday.
I figured I need a total break and so I didnt do a thing this weekend.
Yeah, instead of doing homework as planned, I was looking at some books on amazon.com and finding a new pic for nataly.

Call me a nerd.
I want you to.





Westview's counselors are completely unhelpful.





Im so gonna go over at Nat's in may to cause some ruckus.


I like the sun.
I dont like having no clothes that fit me.


I like shorts.
Shorts are very nice.
Tres nice.

Too bad my legs are totemo ookii.





Watashi wa eigo no shukudai wo shimasu.

Ja mata!















Your lord and master,
Lisa
 
I wont look up when you walk away
04.14.06 (3:29 pm)   [edit]
Todays song-Deserts Eating Oceans by Daphne Loves Derby





So lit and comp and global studies are my first classes of the day.
Thursday I had global studies. We had a discussion.
I wanted to join, but I didnt see a NEED for it. I kept on thinking, if I was with my friends, Id be a part of it, Id have my voice heard.
But then I was contradicted later on after the day had ended.
Maybe Id be better off totally alone.

I had two choices.
Join Michael and those asians, or go with my supposedly good friends from middle school.
Maybe I should have gone with Michael.
Nah, I wouldnt speak in both groups anyway.


I do not know whats wrong with me.
I cant pay attention, I think too slowly, I dont bother to jump in a discussion because I dont HAVE to.
If I dont HAVE to, I wont DO it.

Maybe its because Im at the age where my brain is going through all of my neurons and getting rid if the ones I dont use.


Im stupid, I know.


Maybe Im just waitng for something to shake my bones.



At past eleven on wednesday night, I was doing "note making" for night.
And then I realized, my parents went through genocide.
So I am the child of genocide survivors. I dunno how many of my friends can say that, but I envy those who cant.

I am antiwar and pro death sentence.

I am ugly.
Oh so ugly.



Just this morning (or middle of the night) I had a violent dream and one that I would have preferred not to be dreamt.

So I saw someone beating up my parent's black 4x4 and I went after them with my blue and purple belt and began to beat the shit out of them. I believe I was beating up Leeda's dad. I beat him pretty good.
After feeling accomplished that I had nearly killed the father of a friend who gives me rides to school, I walked back home. Then I saw Megan's step father ruin our car. I realized that it wasnt Leeda's dad who was doing that stuff, it was Sean. So I grabbed something heavy and stormed into their house. He looked so terrified. I felt so powerful.

Then it switched to me reading a book that featured colorful germs who went back in time and were trying to fight off dinosaurs. I was with the people I was with during honors and we were off in the corner of my first grade class and reading to some random kids. We didnt do it so well. I did stuff that wasnt very good (for me personally).


Whats funny is that my family has four cars and only one can fit in our garage. And so we park them on the sides of the streets. And so does Megan's dad. Constantly I wonder, WHY DONT YOU USE YOUR OWN DAMN DRIVEWAY?! OR THE STREETS IN FRONT OF YOUR DAMN HOUSE?! But then, we park on the side of his house so whatev. Though our neighborhood map on the internet states that that section of the street is ours.
And that I miss that corner. I miss being young and having trouble with only reading. It didnt matter if I didnt know how to read back then. It matters that I dont get how to find the coordinates of a point on a circle given only the center, degree of the point and the radius of the circle..



I feel pretty lusty.
Ick.
I make myself sick.



I hope I have a b in global studies.

I hope ms. strowbridge gave me the honors credit.
She probably will.
It doesnt matter if I dont take part of the live discussion, as long as she pays attention to my nine pages of work I'll be fine.



Watching Tim preform Fix You by Coldplay and listening to Natalie go on how good and hot he is made me think, "hey, I prefer Jared more." Its a shame that he hates me now.




I wish I were Hermione (during the second book) so I can hide my past self and redo everything using that time turner.

Or Ron. Life just may be easier if I were a hot redheaded guy who had hidden talents.





The nerd in me makes me want to stop and go upstairs.
I think Ill go play tetris.





I cant volunteer at the hospital.
I missed the deadline (what deadline?) and orientation (orientation?).


So Ill just do work at the library.

Im a rare person.
Im willing to spend my nothing-filled days of summer and work at the LIBRARY for hours without pay.

Maybe if things go the way Im thinking, you can spot me walking with Calvin past rock creek and westview into tanasbourne where I will be able to hang out and volunteer during the weekdays of summer.
Possibly even join me doing those things if it works out like that.




The year's going by fast.
Just the other day it was the beginning of April.
Now it's mid-April.















Your lord and master,
Lisa

Val, for the last time, stop looking at me with those sad eyes. I do not feel a thing.
 
I wont look up when you walk away
04.14.06 (3:29 pm)   [edit]
Todays song-Deserts Eating Oceans by Daphne Loves Derby





So lit and comp and global studies are my first classes of the day.
Thursday I had global studies. We had a discussion.
I wanted to join, but I didnt see a NEED for it. I kept on thinking, if I was with my friends, Id be a part of it, Id have my voice heard.
But then I was contradicted later on after the day had ended.
Maybe Id be better off totally alone.

I had two choices.
Join Michael and those asians, or go with my supposedly good friends from middle school.
Maybe I should have gone with Michael.
Nah, I wouldnt speak in both groups anyway.


I do not know whats wrong with me.
I cant pay attention, I think too slowly, I dont bother to jump in a discussion because I dont HAVE to.
If I dont HAVE to, I wont DO it.

Maybe its because Im at the age where my brain is going through all of my neurons and getting rid if the ones I dont use.


Im stupid, I know.


Maybe Im just waitng for something to shake my bones.



At past eleven on wednesday night, I was doing "note making" for night.
And then I realized, my parents went through genocide.
So I am the child of genocide survivors. I dunno how many of my friends can say that, but I envy those who cant.

I am antiwar and pro death sentence.

I am ugly.
Oh so ugly.



Just this morning (or middle of the night) I had a violent dream and one that I would have preferred not to be dreamt.

So I saw someone beating up my parent's black 4x4 and I went after them with my blue and purple belt and began to beat the shit out of them. I believe I was beating up Leeda's dad. I beat him pretty good.
After feeling accomplished that I had nearly killed the father of a friend who gives me rides to school, I walked back home. Then I saw Megan's step father ruin our car. I realized that it wasnt Leeda's dad who was doing that stuff, it was Sean. So I grabbed something heavy and stormed into their house. He looked so terrified. I felt so powerful.

Then it switched to me reading a book that featured colorful germs who went back in time and were trying to fight off dinosaurs. I was with the people I was with during honors and we were off in the corner of my first grade class and reading to some random kids. We didnt do it so well. I did stuff that wasnt very good (for me personally).


Whats funny is that my family has four cars and only one can fit in our garage. And so we park them on the sides of the streets. And so does Megan's dad. Constantly I wonder, WHY DONT YOU USE YOUR OWN DAMN DRIVEWAY?! OR THE STREETS IN FRONT OF YOUR DAMN HOUSE?! But then, we park on the side of his house so whatev. Though our neighborhood map on the internet states that that section of the street is ours.
And that I miss that corner. I miss being young and having trouble with only reading. It didnt matter if I didnt know how to read back then. It matters that I dont get how to find the coordinates of a point on a circle given only the center, degree of the point and the radius of the circle..



I feel pretty lusty.
Ick.
I make myself sick.



I hope I have a b in global studies.

I hope ms. strowbridge gave me the honors credit.
She probably will.
It doesnt matter if I dont take part of the live discussion, as long as she pays attention to my nine pages of work I'll be fine.



Watching Tim preform Fix You by Coldplay and listening to Natalie go on how good and hot he is made me think, "hey, I prefer Jared more." Its a shame that he hates me now.




I wish I were Hermione (during the second book) so I can hide my past self and redo everything using that time turner.

Or Ron. Life just may be easier if I were a hot redheaded guy who had hidden talents.





The nerd in me makes me want to stop and go upstairs.
I think Ill go play tetris.





I cant volunteer at the hospital.
I missed the deadline (what deadline?) and orientation (orientation?).


So Ill just do work at the library.

Im a rare person.
Im willing to spend my nothing-filled days of summer and work at the LIBRARY for hours without pay.

Maybe if things go the way Im thinking, you can spot me walking with Calvin past rock creek and westview into tanasbourne where I will be able to hang out and volunteer during the weekdays of summer.
Possibly even join me doing those things if it works out like that.




The year's going by fast.
Just the other day it was the beginning of April.
Now it's mid-April.















Your lord and master,
Lisa

Val, for the last time, stop looking at me with those sad eyes. I do not feel a thing.
 
El Screwedo
04.12.06 (4:41 pm)   [edit]
Todays song-Number six on my mixed Daphne Loves Derby cd

The lyrics are like this..
"I beg to forget you and everything we've done used to keep me up at night and do see that Im sorry I didnt think that you'd ever want to be this close to me
and now that it's late
please understand that Im not too close to what you were hoping for mistakes have misled you so what are you waiting for"

I dunno what song it is but its a nice song



Ah.

Honors.

So much honors shit to do.

Eight pages of notes I have to respond about and the reflection paper

Then chem, geometry, global studies



I say, its a good thing its wednesday.
Or Id be watching tv



I want one of those vibrating box things that the ex smokers who've had their vocal chords removed.
That guest speaker was pretty cool.







Now its seriously time to start on homework.

















Your lord and master,
Lisa
 
If there was an asian Id fall in love with
04.11.06 (9:27 pm)   [edit]
Todays song-Midnight Highway by Daphne Loves Derby
Im such a sap.


..it would be Kenny from D<3D >


Im missing a new episode of Scrubs because I felt like posting something.
Mostly to cover up my last post.
Secretly to reach to someone.


But, its this way or that.
Either I shouldnt have listened to Ty or the hatred comes from a fake obsession.

Maybe even both.



I feel like walking around.
Then eventually that will grow into running around.



I dunno if I want to wear my fancy smancy heels tomorrow.
My feet hurt from running in my new shoes.

I was at the park for three hours.
Playing with my cousin, scaring indian kids, getting disgusted by how dirty my shoes were getting.


Tomorrow I wont be going to the park.
I will be going straight home to work on honors.

Nats done with great expectations.

Im so far behind.



I hope Dellerba picks my resolution for our simulation.
This morning I sent him my roughly done resolution and he emailed me back.

Nice teacher.
Boring ass class.

The one class I cant focus in.
I hope I have a B in the class.



Im at the point where I cant stand it.
I didnt think it would bother me so much, but it does.
WHY?!
I was doing so well!





I failed my imprompt (or whatever) speech in health.
5-4-4-3-4


Language.
I was surprised I did so well actually.






Its late.

Im gonna go upstairs, blow dry my hair, watch tv, obsess more about absolute nothing.

















Your lord and master,
Lisa
 
At School
04.11.06 (8:27 am)   [edit]
Todays song-Molly's something by Kings of Leon


Its been a while since Ive posted something at school.
Im doing this during global studies.
I should be doing my resolution.

But I thought of doing somethign else first.


THe girls next to me are pissing me off.
I wish they would stop fucking talking about smells and shit.




I say Im farther ahead than other people, I have half a page done, others are barely starting.



And Ive got until thursday.


I have to finish honors.
I have to finish honors.
I have to finish honors.



And I need to find my goggles.
I wish people wouldnt move my stuff so I didnt have to waste money to buy something I already have.


I still have to talk to my mom about the play.


So my gs teacher is out, I dunno where he is.
He gave us an extra class period to work on our resolutions.
Um, I worked on it this morning.
I wasted my morning stressing out about doing this stuff.
Rawr.
I could have been searching for my goggles.
Im angry now.



And I seriously wish to bomb my class.
Like have someone throw a bomb through the upper south computer lab right onw.
RIGHT NOW!





My teachers back.
He sits right behind me.
Must stop this.























Your lord and master,
Lisa
 
Cough makes my throat sore-er
04.07.06 (11:30 pm)   [edit]
Todays song-11:11 PM by the all-american rejects.


Wow, it was just 11:11 like a couple of minutes ago.

So I was just wondering why no one was one right now.
And then I realized, hey, its past eleven.

Only idiots are completely awake at eleven and do productive things.
Well, I cant entirely say writing this is productive, but it is better than watching South Park.



Its allergy season.
I officially announce it-with a runny nose, sinus headache, sneezes, red eyes, sore throat and all of those things.



I like the cold season because everything is dead and so my immune system doesnt go to overdrive when fighting foreign substances.
I do not enjoy the sun.

I however do enjoy tulips.
Theyre popping up, yay!



Talking about what which season I like more reminds me of my health speech.
That I totally blowed by the way.
You could have shot me on the spot and embarrassment would still be on my mind.

Sure, I started out strong, but then I carried on about dog and saw Ms. H write something about it and got nervous and completely stopped talking.

The guy after me was better than me, and he talked for only 30 seconds.


I do not want to go to health anymore.



Health reminds me of a days.
A days remind me of lit and comp.
Lit and comp reminds me of homework.
Masses of homework.

Just so I have a list of what to do...
-expository paper outline
-african national congress resolution
-chem balancing equations packet
-read 18-2 for chem
-crap for geometry
-study middle east map
-study jap (yeah right)
-write note about chol. for health



I need to talk to my mom about the school play.
And then to Val about tickets.


And I need to talk to my uncle about volunteering at the hospital. Then my counselor (I wonder if shes still around or if she's out having her baby) about volunteering for credit and changing my PE class.





Crap.
Today is the 7th.
Honors...13...uh, a weekish.
Friday.
Damnit.
I also have to write the paper and note making stuff.
Ar.



I need to get great expectations.
I do not like dickens that much.
Hes way too damn boring.


Oliver Twist made me fall asleep more than the scarlet letter.
Which is quite amazing by the way.





Its late.

















Your lord and master,
Lisa

Congrats to Ian
Hey! I know the soph. president!
 
I Do Not Like
04.04.06 (6:23 pm)   [edit]
Todays song-Dance Inside by The All-American Rejects




...Little cousins who hits me on the head with painful objects.
I do not tolerate it.

So when my little cousin did so, I grabbed her, squished her between my thighs, attempted to take the headband away from her and broke it in the process.

Arr.



I also dont like how I "forgot" about my mozambique shit and didnt do any of it during spring break.

Im now doing it, all three fucking parts of it, and turning it in tomrrow morning.



If I dont turn it in, points will be marked off, I have a c in the class.
A C.



Rawr.















Your lord and master,
Lisa
 





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