Neo-Lisaism

Ah, Lisa exemplifies the process of disowning the true self.
With puberty she went from being a whole, authentic person to a diminished version of herself.

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Dear Blake Lewis and the New Year;
12.31.07 (11:33 pm)   [edit]

I wrote a magnificent blog. that got deleted.

fuck you tblog.

history has been erased.

lisa. 
 
dreams
12.27.07 (8:30 pm)   [edit]
Todays song-you made me like it by 1990s
 
 
ive been told by many people that I should stop dreaming about them
well sorrrrry
its not like i can control what goes on during REM
cant even depend on lucid dreams because ive never had one!
 
 
and its not like i can control how i wake up during my REM stages
i hate remembering my dreams
i hate dreaming
 
my dreams always contain more than three scenarios
and the weirdest things
and like hey im on drugs kind of weird
like, ok, that was kinda slightly well is creepy
the shuddering kind
 
 
 
ugh. 124 lbs.
ew phat.
ugh. havent done any homework yet
idiot.
ugh. sat prep
id really rather not. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
TV.
 
YOUR LORD AND GODDAMN MASTER,
meeee
 
Restricted
12.12.07 (7:03 pm)   [edit]
Todays song- alloway grove by paolo nutini


I dont know if I feel this awful because its about time for winter break or because I havent gotten that much sleep lately.
For a hump day, this is the worst ever.






Ive grown isolated from everyone.
Yeah. Ok.

















Your lord and master,
Lisa
 
some people are nice
12.07.07 (11:18 pm)   [edit]
todays song-rewind by paolo nutini

like ladyg
thank you.



and then some people are complete asses

like a certain romanian who doesnt want to talk to me
like a certain blond who wants to know my grades and scores
like a certain best friend who didnt extend an invitation to me about her cookie party, and I know that she and I already know that I wouldnt be able to go, but still, it would have been considerate

like a certain girl named lisa.
oops, thats me.


but then there are also nice people are there
like a certain blond turned brunette kid
like a certain tall blond basketball playing boy
like a certain white ass
like a certain blond soccer playing boy


and mr wilkinson is nice
i like him

still dont like brown
even if he did shout fuck in class


i hate being busy














Your lord and master,
Lisa
 
gift of disappointment
12.01.07 (10:39 pm)   [edit]
todays song-put the lights on the tree by sufjan stevens


yesterday was my birthday.
that is the last time I depend on one person to change the world

In middle school my birthdays were perfect
my friends gave me presents
and I got "happy birthdays"

now lately, its been on my immediate family (living in this house) who's been bothering to make my birthday important
no one gave me anything this year
not a staple
a paperclip
a rubber eraser shaving
i do not wish much from the people from school
but somehow I always get less than I think Ill receive


even natalie didnt give me anything
she was too busy
understandable, i mean, she has math, anatomy, aplang and apush that day but that was a bit sad

and val had told me she'd give me some antidepressants
not

i made a count of the birthday wishes I got that day
the happy birthdays as a result of me telling friday was my birthday was triple the number of the happy birthdays I received by those who remembered it was my very special day
maybe quadruple the number

and shit, come on
i think yesterday was just as bad as my birthday last year
i think maybe Im meant to be forgotten

I mean, in my entire high school experience, which is two years and a half, Ive only made one new good friend Michael
but he cannot be considered that anymore because after constant reminders, he didnt do squat
I might as well age without celebration

I dont know why I put so much hope in him
Maybe I thought, maybe he'll get me something and my connections with friends isnt really dead, and someone might actually care about me

but I saw him twice that day
nothing
nothing tonight either
"SAT SAT SAT SAT SAT"
fuck the sats!

no mention whatsoever

and only one myspace happy birthday!

goddamnit!

the only good thing was the night
where I had taco bell and my cake for dinner
and afterwards we watched pride and prejudice

fuuuuuuck my peers.
Im alone.














Your lord and unhappy master,
Lisa

I am tired of receiving gifts of disappointment for my birthday.
 





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